Maybe it just seems that way to me but I'm alarmed at hearing couples breaking it off after 20 or some years of marriage. It seems even the old timers are throwing in the towel. How sad! One thought that I agree with is, prior to marriage we have our best foot forward and after we have scored it's business back to usual. Then we have two looking at each other, with hands outstretched, saying love me! Neither can give to the other! Why is the divorce rate so high and this includes organised faiths?

I think it stow a mirror of our society...we expect so much more to happen in our life....the government take over more and more of our duties...by day caring centers and home for the elderly. It is expected that both have to go to work in order to keep up with the standard put up by the advertising company....the life goes faster....we have less time for each other and the family.

This might lead to less understanding...and less will to search for solutions.
Many see even a little obstacle as something big and don't try to solve it at all....since it has become more common that people divorce...it is neither that big shame anymore to end it...and there is many that feel the grass is greener on others lawn

At the same time, people who live in "relationship" increase....so in a >50 years time I think only people who fancy tradition will marry....which again show that not all progress are good progress.....because if we take the children into account...a stable marriage/relationship is to prefer.

btw moving this to family and parenting...think it belong there....then you even have chance to attend our competition

Stan:  I fit into your catagory of 20+ years and finally throwing in the towel.  I was married at 19 and had a lot of growing and living to do.  I thought it could be done in my marriage.  

Hubby 1 was a controlling and negative person.  When he found he could not control one way, he tried every other way.  Eventually he ended up with a neurological illness (perhaps he couldn't control his body after all?)

At the end I was told I was not the person he had married.  What a statement?  My response:  I should hope not!  

To me, this outlines his problems more than anything else.

BTW the second time around is wonderful!  I have a loving, caring hubby who knows the meaning of love and giving.  We share so much that was not possible for me in the past.

Sometimes I think we have to look deeper then just the numbers. Marriage is a wonderful institution if both parties are committed.  We look at our ancestors who were together forever and we think that's the way it should be.  However, what we're not bringing to the forefront is the abuse many women (and some men) had to endure because divorce was just not done.  Would you say that a woman HAS to stay with her husband if he beats her everyday?  100 yrs ago (even 50 yrs ago), that was the case. Heck, women used to be OWNED by their husbands.  Not so anymore. Women have more rights and in the end, they can get out if things are abusive.  

Also, people change and not always at the same rate.  You can't expect that after 20 yrs of being together that you will have two people who still feel the same way they felt before...sometimes its better, sometimes its not.  

Sure, its sad that the divorce rate is up, but you have to look at the reasons for those divorces instead of just the number. Infidelity, change in behaviors and/or thoughts or abuse.