This is one of the reasons I have not been on much.

I have not one but 2 aunties that I am looking after --- and If I hear one more time from anyone "put them in the nursing home" I will scream!

Before they became ill ............ they requested no homes!  We agreed and we do not believe in that sort of life!  I believe in taking care of family.  

So daily I am on the phone or with them or preparing something for them -- this week has been HELL! But Hell is worth it when you love some one ..............even if that someone is not themselves ..and memory illnesses keep them from being themselves.

Life we live it too fast ..........sometimes the flowers we need to stop and pick - could just be our family!

India is one of the few places where we still believe in living together. my parents for one want to join an old age home.. i feel u can live together as long as u dont "expect" anything.

sometimes parents and their grown children do not need to live together. My mom an I for example. Alot of bad history between us.So yes convalescent homes are still needed.
Even in still I would take her in if necessary when she gets old.

I have been caring for my disabled mother for 5 years now...we just recently moved her into my home...it`s not an easy job...but it is one that i feel i must take on...she has spent brief amounts of time in nursing homes...once after her stroke and once after her heart attack...the first one was horrible...i had to be there from breakfast till dinner time every day just to make sure she was taken care of...the one day i couldn`t make it there.. the home called and said she fell on the floor and they don`t know how long she was there for...now, on the other hand this last home she temporarily stayed in was an excellent facility.....all her needs were taken care of and I never felt like I needed to be there 8 hrs a day...so i would say some are better then others...if you must use a home...research research research...they are not all equal.....my mother did not like any of the homes and I do think that her staying in our home is the best choice for us...Its not always easy juggling all the responsibilities ..as i do have a husband two teens and a two year old ...but i do think when all is said and done I will be thankful for the choices I have made

Not all elderly people have caring children, I remember a few years back an old man died after a catalogue of abuse from his own son, he didn't report it as he was so afraid it would make the situation a lot worse than it was already.  For some, like this man, care home would have provided a safe haven for him.  

Not all children are able to provide excellent care to their parents, however well placed their intentions were, my aunt spent most of her life caring for her mother and aunt, it wasn't until she placed them into a home that it dawned on her that she provided basic care.  her intentions were well placed, but it turned out to be a selfish one, it was in care homes that her mother and aunt thrived, had the best medical help, retained their independence, and HAD social activities.

I think, we shouldn't be too hard on those who chose to put their families in care homes, they are the ones that know what their limitations are, what restrictions will be placed, and whether it is fair on them, the elderly parents and to the carer, in the long run.   I'd rather see a family admit they have no resources, have limited provisions and have realistic outlook on things rather than to be in denial saying they feel obliged to care and put themselves under a huge unnecessary strain at the process.

JJ