I, my husband and children have been looking after my mother for the past few years. Every day and all night every night we help look after her. She is not willing to go to an aged home and I can't bring myself to force her there. However I am feeling resent toward her for the life and opportunity she has taken from what should be my turn with my family. We have given up work opportunities, missed out on many lost moments with our children, given up our social life, much reduced income. The saddest part is that she believe she is owed this because that's why she had children. I now understand that I would never place my life before my childs. When she passes it will certainly be a bitter-sweet moment.

If I had power or money I would develop homes where aged people could live together (up to 5 people) with carers (ideally a couple/partners). This home would be just like any other home. Instead of parents nurturing their 5 kids, this would be a turnaround in ages.

Living style changing day by day in India. Its depending on the old parents and it should be their choice. They have to decide. Some old parents like to live togethr, but some of not. Our young gneration should think about this. Give respect the old parents and should realize that one day everybody having same day.

Good luck.

I chose to have my children because I wanted to create something which is of both my husband and I. Because I chose to have them it is my responsibility to help them as they live their lives. I put them here, after all. However some people, like my mother, insist that as she gave birth to us we owe it to her to look after her and provide for her whatever she now needs. I argue that she chose to put me on this earth, so it's her responsibility. I know it is important to support family and friends, but I don't think it is respectful of others to be such a burden that their own lives are suffering. Call me selfish and cold but I've lost my ability to be graceful about this issue after missing out on so much within my own life, my offspring, friends, money and career. People remind me that my children will observe and do the same for me, but I can't imagine myself asking them to do the same for me.

After all my partents have done for me, taking care of them is the least I can do. This is something that our family has always done for our elders

I think it is a hard decision when putting a love one in a nursing home if it needs to be done. My parents are divorced and have been remarried to others for the past 19 years, however, my dad is more for himself and my step mom is only for the money and will lie to get it (It is sad but she knows how to work the state for money as well as taught one of her biological kids to do the same thing). Anyhow, if I could I would take my dad out that situation and try my best to come live with me so that I can watch over him to make sure he is taking care of himself and no one treats him bad (which she and her kids and the adopted kids do). My mom and step dad, however, is completely different, I love them to death but the problem is that they have been depending on me to take care of them for the past 10 years and the older they get the more they depend on me. My step dad kids already informed them that they will put him in a nursing home because they don't want the responibility of taking care of them (they don't now) However, I have the final say in everything for both my mom and my step dad and I know I could never put them in a nursing home. I have seen what happens in them and I know some that have been in there and by the time I was finished with the nursing staff, both day and night shift, they started to hate it when I came because they knew that if I seen signs of abuse and/or neglect they would hear it from me within minutes of after I walked in. One of my friends started sitting with her grandma every day and her niece sat with her every night to make sure that she was completely taken care of with no neglect or abuse.
It is very hard to find a good nursing home that will take really good care of the elderly but there is some out there that will.