Hi there

First post, first forum, ever.  I apologise for baring my soul so quickly after joining this forum, but I also thank you for opening your heart to my burning issue and for giving this message your time.

I have a degree in Psychology and have been doing Palmistry for about 20 years.  I enjoy helping, much more than receiving help. However, my own healing still eludes me.

My biggest issue (and reason for my life-long search for answers) is a curse of jealousy and insecurity.  I cannot handle ANY other woman around my husband and it's destructive, crippling, uncontrollable and subconcious.  I wish I could gain control over this thing.  I'm ashamed to admit it even affects my siblings, their partners, and even my 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship.  We've been married for 12 years and it's not getting any better.  We don't go anywhere and don't invite anybody to our house because of this.  I cannot control my anger and insecurity.  

Any suggestions will be appreciated.

Oh gosh i would love to offer some suggestions but am also realistic of the responses from you as I have kinda been there too.

In the end I had to surrender to no control.  I couldn't control him I had to choose what I could and couldnt, and for once I had to place my trust in him to not hurt me , but that when I realised once I placed my trust in him to not hurt me thats when I realised i hadnt done that at all.

I had trusted myself to be able to cope with the avalanche of emotions that may fall if he were to ever cheat on me, I found I had that inner strength in me that knew no matter what I didnt have to rely on him being there for me to be complete.  I already was and he was  happy extension of that.

Jealousy is hard! its not wanting to lose, its wanting to keep what is yours and own it, control it, know it and be it forever.  Jealousy is what pushes them away in the end.
If they have given us no motive for our own feelings of jeaoulsy towards them then its only fair we find out where our jealousy comes from was it our mum and dads relationship, an early relationship or the fact that we are afraid that they dont love us as much as we love them.

Its all baby steps, its giving up your control and letting it go and knowing that no matter what the outcome no matter what your capable of any fall out if it ever comes.

This sounds like it is one of your blue print lessons in life so it will not be easy and atleast you acknowledge this also and are aware of it.  You already know this is what drives most of them away anyway.   I almost squeezed the life out of my marriage until I realised most of my jealousy wasnt that he would have sex with someone else it was that if he did and I left him i had no life other than him.  

"Jealousy can be when you realise all you have is the other person, you dont have anything you are them!"

All this is said with the upmost respect I saw your reading request but thought i would come here to answer it.  An akashic one requires a direct question adn mangomum i think is a little backed up at the time being.

Best of luck to you and with your hope....step by step...
I understand you already know alot of what I have said due to your degree but sometimes hearing it again in a different capacity makes the lgiht bulb flick.

Thank you so much for understanding and the reply!  

It's a deep and dark feeling that destroys me and everyone else around me.  Your message really helped, because not only could I actually verbalise it and admit to it, but it also helps to know that somebody out there also had to deal with this issue.  I know where it comes from, but I still just want it to go away.  Nothing I think or do seems to help.  

Well, I've got to run, but just wanted to say thank you until I log on again.  I'll read your post again later, but for now: at least my "issue" is out there and I appreciate it that you took the time to let me know that I'm not alone.

Hi colette,

I also live in SA, but Musina, die warm plek.

In any event, yes jealousy has a tendency to ruin any relationship, in fact you will never have satisfaction because you are chasing an ideal, which is impossible. Now this is a human trait, and very difficult to live with.

We Tarot readers know about the three virtues that actually define prudence.

Strength as in inner strength,

Justice- as in perfect balanced scales, not influenced by human fancies,

and Temperance,

And, yes you are a pshycologist, helping others, sometimes you get so involved with their problems that you don't seem to realise what you do to yourself. I don't think it's going to be that easy to get rid of your problem. unfortunately you know the route and the possible result.

You know that the person you share your life with, is in fact a necessary part of your survival. What you bring and your partner, makes on whole, good and bad. You actually compliment each other, remeber that.

Another thing that you can learn from christians, is the power of positive confession. In the Wiccan way all our wishes or trusts are confessed not only once but a number of times, we thank our God and Goddess, spirits and spirit guides, and very importantly the Angels. Then we beleive we receive it and do positive visualisation and positive confessions.

You must also remeber that the bible says "Whatever you confess with your mouth and beleive in your heart, you will surely have it" in this light don't confess your jealousy and bad nature. The bible further tells you that the spirit world is more real than the natural. (I was a pastor in a very big christian city), Thank God, i saw the light.

Now, when you confess your problem, the spirits hear it, and yes convey it around, they talk to each other. Remember there are good and bad spirits, you must be so carefull how you deal with this issue.

Have you ever thought of learning Tarot, the path of the Major Arcanum enlightens you to the journey of spiritual completeness. The Tarot has certainly changed my life dramatically. You don't need to do readings, altough there is some points in which it can give you insight into your client's problem. therefore take the spiritual path, meditate, meditate and more, i'm sure somewhere you have that ability to overcome your harrasment and cage it.

I hope for your contentment.

Blessed be

"Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference."

[Saint Francis of Assisi]

I'ts a tough battle to try and change the way you are.  When I was younger (and still) I struggle with fits of jealousy and self doubt - particularly around or where men are concerned.  It's like I know what other women are like so i have to be wary because men can be so easily tempted.

I'm not sure that I do yet (at the ripe odl age of almost 45) that I truly believe in myself but I'm getting there...slowly but surely.  I only hope my daughter is stronger and wiser than I was when I was a teenager.

My prayers are definitely with you and I pray that you will have the strength to fight this battle and win!

Peace, love and light to you Colette!

Conny