Dear friends

Thank you for the responses.  If you have a moment, please read my post in the Psychic section of this forum?

Firstly, I need to set the record straight.  I'm afraid I didn't introduce myself properly!  

1) I'm not a Psychologist.  I studied Criminology and Psychology for a three-year degree.  Degrees are merely theory, and does not qualify me in any way or make me more knowledgeable than anyone else!  It was just a route I took to try and find answers to my own questions.  
2)   I have done Palmistry for many, many years (since Primary School) and have been advising people in that capacity.  I am no expert as I've achieved this mainly through self-study and experience.  
3)  I do Fairy Tarot readings for my family and friends.  
3)  I worked in the Recruitment industry for 12 years, during which time I also had the opportunity to advise people in a career sense.  
4)  Since 2005, I have my own company and mainly do authoring. I'm currently writing a book on management for a wonderful gentleman who was the first black South African manager during the apartheid years.  What a journey!  

Your responses are valued.  

Payewacker, I like the idea of "careful when you confess".  It makes sense, as you will give power to something you articulate.  However, in many ways, by giving it a physical manifestation, it may become easier to fight.  You cannot fight something in your head: it feeds off your fears and grows stronger and stronger because it does not have the restriction of reality.  What are your thoughts on this?  I will definitely learn to meditate.  The need to do this is something that is becoming clearer to me since I've received all the responses.  Maybe through meditation I can break through the blocks of my thoughts. My brain is my worse enemy (and my dearest friend).  I've been told long ago by Christian priests that "something is holding me back".  Psychologists don't help, because I can see through their methods and I even fool myself, never mind others.  It makes me really sad, because does it mean that I need somebody so clever and powerful that can they can see through the walls of my mind, when I cannot even see in my own?

MissEm, thank you for your support.  It's a constant battle. I know exactly what you mean.  Even the bible is witness to the fact that men are so easily seduced by women (Adam, David, the list goes on and on).  What I'm seeing in my daughters (I have a 15 year old from a previous relationship and a 2 year old with my husband) is that us women are born with the need to be "pretty".  Men have an inborn need to maintain their egos and feel in control.  Even knowing this for certain. doesn't help my problem.  On the contrary, a woman needing to be sexy and a man needing to feel important is a recipe for disaster.  That is the curse of nature.  It's beautiful, but not if you feel so jealous and insecure.  I often wonder if I must just divorce and live alone somewhere.  That way, I cannot be hurt again.  During my whole life I've lost people important to me (three dads (!), boyfriends, the father of my first daughter.  I was in 14 schools in 12 years!  However, I know that the advice I received in this forum is valuable and I will do my best to implement it.  I owe it to myself, my husband, my children, my family.  It's just so damn hard.

Hi Colette

Above all else, you owe it to YOURSELF to be all that you CAN be.  Approve of yourself from within and don't look to others to approve of the person you are.

What you feel is so close to my own heart and it makes me sad.

Bless you dear heart....be strong and have the courage to believe in yourself and the beautiful person that you are.  What's done is done and history is in the past and I htink we need to try and not let that rule our futures.  Life is too short to not ejoy ourselves and all that we want to be and all that we can be.

Trust in you.

Hugs to you!!

Thank you.

Hi Collette,
Can I suggest you consider consulting with a hypnotherapist? There may be an underlying issue that stems from an incident in your childhood that has been imprinted on your subconscious.
If you are open to the suggestion, you may like to consider not just an age regression, but also past life regression. Sometimes "resolving" an issue in a "past life" can create huge differences in this life (Ask the hynotherapist if they are skilled in past lifer regressions or not.)
For those who are skeptical of past lives, may I just say this... in matters little what the truth  is an incident in  the past or even in a past life. What matters is whether the subconscious resolves the issue or not.

Hi nextstep

Good advice, seeing that it is subconscious. I've considered it before, but never got quite to it.  Will definitely give it a go. As a matter of fact, I'll do some enquiries today.  I'll give feedback on the issue once it's done.

In terms of past lives, I do believe in it.  But I have a theory.  

Because energy cannot die (it can merely change state), when you die, your beliefs are the only thing that remain of you. Your beliefs are "your essence", seeing that it is so strong it can mould your personality and thoughts, your destiny and your body. It can even move mountains!  So, when you die, your beliefs remain and based on what you believe, so will it be.  

- If you were a Christian and you believed in heaven, so will it be.
- If you caused intentional harm (knowingly), you will be consumed by the guilt and be in "hell". As you sow, so shall you reap.  
- If you were taken suddenly and do not find peace, your spirit will be trapped on this earth in the form of a restless spirit.  
- If you regarded your life as lessons to be learned, you will reincarnate to complete those lessons.
- If you reach the highest evolutionary frequency you can, you will become part of the energy of Greater Good.

Although everybody should strive towards spiritual evolution, there is nothing wrong with accepting the gift from Prophets who created a shortcut (so to speak) for us to go to the highest state (heaven).  We should not judge those people who accept this gift, but envy them.  Childlike acceptance of religion is a blessing.

However, some of us choose to take our own responsibility and even though we try to enrich our lives with the lessons from the Prophets, we strive to ultimately reach this higher state on our own.  Eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil? If you eat from this tree, you pay the price of personally being responsible for the choices you make with this knowledge.  This is when you search for truth outside (and at the core of) religion to reach or become part of "God"/ "The Greater Good".

What do you think?