Also I forgot to add that in the dream when he was standing there smoking......he didnt look happy, like he was sad or angry that  he wasnt here anymore

Absolutely no problem Krystal .. lol, Im psychic remember, I know that life happens, and I know how tired you are, I feel what is in your heart.
Your dealing with his mother the right way.. thats one argument you cant win and don't want to.  Best just to wear a shield and know what you know with confidence inside...
Which is what you are doing.

The grieving process is still very much in the early days for you right now. Dont think that you are expected to be completely with it just yet.. At this stage you just need to put on a mask for the outside world, while still letting in your closest and dearest friends and relatives.  Letting them how you are feeling helps you and them to understand you.

Seriously a visual is something you dont want to have.. be content to just know. I have had a couple and in all honesty even knowing what I know these leave me frozen with fear.
I lost my brother when I was young ( we were close, even sharing a birthday ).. I used to have visuals of other things, but never directly of him. The only time I actually saw him was a few years ago when i believe he made a visit before passing into another phase or whatever it is they do.
He was always with me, but I diddle notice it until he was gone from my immediate side. It was then I knew it was time. He never actually left my side until it was time, and when it was time I was ready .. mind you that took probably 25 years.

Chris will be there with you.. but his presence as it should not, will not consume your awareness.. its more a quiet  support, not over whelming. Our loved ones being with us is a very gentle, and natural thing, its not like we should expect to feel something unusual.. because its not.


This dream.. The smoking seems to be a regular occurrence in your dreams ( Im a smoker also )..

Your probably seeing your own feelings in a reflected from Chris. I dont believe he would be angry or sad.
BUT If you feel strongly that he is, that the feelings you see in him in this dream are his own you may want to try giving him permission to live in spirit instead of physical, and reassuring him that you will be ok, and can accept this, you dont have to like it.. but accepting should help..
Theres no hurry do do this.. just when you are ready. If it takes a year, it take a year.. just as long as you are functional in your life and are not suffering prolonged depression.
Dont expect to come good too fast, but dont slow down the process either, if a moment of joy crosses you accept it and be joyful in that moment without guilt.
Your in the grieving process but this is no reason to deny yourself happy moments either, let them in when you can.

ie... the gay friend.. every girl deserves one. I love them.

Hospital/school .. learning and healing .. I guess it is a job.. or at least a task.

Anyways..
I saw your request in the picture reading thread but didn't respond Because I wanted someone else to have a shot for you... and its kind of hard reading someone from scratch when you feel you already kind of know them.

I will go find that and post on it now also.. But only in brief ....

OO that reminds me.. You said here you work in a law firm..
This dream had you dropped off at a hospital/ school..
I was going to mention child care studies on your picture reading thread !..
lol. doesn't match your real life.. I wont be including that when I post on there.

Working in the law firm would be cool!.. I wouldn't trade that for child care studies )

Anyways..
TTYS

OMG I posted triple!

oops double post

StormGirl Blue.....Im sorry to hear about your brother!! even if its been 25yrs its still tough!!

Yeah were both smokers....lol   I think if I didnt smoke, Id go insane  lol

The law firm is ok....its more just a job than anything.....not really sure what I want to do in life.  I did want to be a teacher when I was younger but I dont think I have the patience to deal with them now...lol  Kids kinda freak me out....Im not sure what to say to them even babies but they do stare at me all the time.....anywhere Im at....they just stare  lol   maybe their telling me something?

Chris might not have been mad or angry.....its was more of just a blank stare.....I could have just preceived him to be that way, like you said.....All this is still new to me!!   I do remember a couple yrs ago....I woe up in the middle of the night and seen a little boy standing at the side of my bed,  it was a dark figure and I thought it was chris....he was sleeping int he floor at the side of the bed....just figured he was playing a joke on me, so anyway I was reaching out to touch it to see what it was then something told me not to.....so I drew my hand back and then yelled for chris.....I could tell I woke him up cause he was freaking out as to what was wrong and I asked him if it was him and he said no....then he told me I was probably dreaming.....but I know I wasnt....after that it never happen again!!

Yeah I do have alot of regret.....with Chris, life etc.....Im not sure why. Tired doesnt even explain it....Im flat out exhausted even before the death of chris.....Im just run down mental and physically
Ive had alot of arguements with girls over the past years.....and i wouldnt be opposed to punching them  lol   There was one girl that was more significant then the others!

"People like you because you say what you say, not for spite, but for honesty.. If someone needed and honest opinion, they would do well to ask you... but in asking you they should be ready to accept the truth.. your not going to sugar coat it."  Haha.....this is so me.....I dont try to be mean about it, even though others think I am, but the truth hurts!!  Yeah im definitly the keeper of secrets....both mine and others.....sometimes Im ok with it and other times Id just like to get it out but still never do or will.

Thank you for the complement.....yeah I get that alot about looking younger than Iam.....Im sure I will appreciate it more when Im older....lol