I rarely post my dreams, but this one of a couple of weeks ago was special. I did solve its main message, I think, and after the dream's insights I did find my way again. That said, I am curious what others make of it

I was asleep in my bed when my boyfriend came home from his night out, taking two guests along into the kitchen. I woke up and was not aware he had brought guests with him and just entered the living room to welcome him, relieved to have him home, when I noticed the strangers in the kitchen. Not wanting them to see me exposed in my nightly outfit I crouched behind the relaxing chair. At that point my boyfriend became aware of my presence and the possibility of being exposed and ushered his guests out. Although we never spoke, we communicated with each other with our eyes. They never saw me, because neither I, nor my boyfriend ever put on the lights in the house.

After this scene we left to go somewhere together by car. I knew where we were going and had the road planned out before me. But as soon as I started the car and drove off from home I took another road, even though I was not aware of having gone the wrong direction until much later, and was wondering where and how I had taken the wrong turn. It was still nighttime, but there was something strange about the dark night. It was so dark that I felt like a blindman behind the steering wheel. Even when I put my headlights on, they were so dim in that blackness that I could hardly see the road ahead of me. Within minutes we were outside of the city and driving through a hilly forrested country.

Though I knew we weren't on the correct road I persisted to continue the way we had taken, hoping to come across a split that would take me to the correct area. That never happened in the dream of course. We just ended up in the outback, the Ardennes. This hill, forrested country in South Belgium is over two hours drive away from my home, and thus not the intended twenty-minutes-drive-away suburb we had planned to go.

Eventually the road ended as a grassfield driveway of a 19th century looking, restorated farm, with a brick arch as entry into the farm courtyard. I parked the car at the cow gate of the property, walked through the wet grass towards the arch at the courtyard, finally ready to ask for directions and help. As before, it was hard to see where I was going. The strange blinding blackness persisted. I never went beyond the arch. It was clear there was noone awake at the property, except for two farmyard dogs that came running towards me, barking.

I halted my approach as soon as I heard the barking coming closer. In real life I'm rather nervous around dogs, because I've been bitten twice by dogs when I was a child. And I felt the same nervousness come up initially until I actually saw the dogs. The male was of medium height, hazel brown coat, of undefined race, and the second one - white female - looked like a pet lapdog. Their barking did not sound threatening once they were in sight, and they came up to me with their tails wagging. To my own surprise I petted both of them on the head, before I turned around and walked back to the car and leave the farm in peace. The dogs accompanied (or guided) me back to my car. And for the first time in the dream the darkness of the night did not bother my sight anymore.

As I arrived at the wooden cow gate, several women passed the car and crossed my path. Though it was still theoreticaly night, I could see my surroundings and them as if it were day again. They struck me as women experienced in being married, having a family, run a household, etc... And I addressed one, the woman closest to me, explaining that somehow I had taken the wrong turn and had ended up here while instead I wanted to go to xxxx (my initially planned suburb destination).

She smiled sympathetically, and the women were very helpful, giving me all sorts of tips, signs to look for to drive back to the point where I had taken the wrong turn and find my way to where I wanted to go. As they explained, I could see the correct roads, the correct area, the correct destination in my mind. I thanked them, stepped into the car and woke up.

Hi SSR

This dream speaks to me of your relationship with your boyfriend, particularly where it is going (driving in the car).

It says to me that you had plans or ideas on where you wanted the relationship to go, but the relationship did not take the path that you expected, or the relationship did not go in the direction you had anticipated (taking the wrong road).

Even though the relationship was not going the way you had planned, you have stuck with it, hoping that you may end up at your intended destination anyway, even though you could not see where the relationship was going, and do not know where the path is taking you.

Has the relationship come to an end?  I see the goal of the relationship being marriage and family life in the suburbs.  But you have come to the end of the road and 'never walked through the arch'...  I notice that although he was in the car with you, you don't mention him after you get out of the car to visit the farm.  Does he sort of disappear at that point or is he still around?  I guess that would answer whether it is a change in direction of the existing relationship, or a breakup.  Since it is the end of the road I am seeing breakup.

The farm, could it be symbollic of growth of knowledge / harvesting of experience?  The 'guide dogs', could they be symbollic of taking your issues to friends or a councillor?  Or perhaps could the nervousness be about ending the relationship?  Or not knowing what will happen?  After all this part seems to be all about getting advice / direction.

The dogs guide you back to the car, relationship?  Perhaps the relationship is not over, perhaps it was just a break to 'get your bearings'?  Now that you are able to see better, you are ready to recieve advice on how to reach your goal in your relationship.  You are better equipped knowledge-wise, in achieving your intended goal for the relationship?

Does that make any sense to you?

I am not sure about the initial scene of the dream.  Perhaps something related to being exposed to that which set your relationship in the wrong direction?

Sweet dreams,
Rook

That is what I had as insights from the dream too... At the point of time of that dream I was a at a total loss and dead end of the road the relationship had taken. It had taken a dark path, I felt helpless hoping we would meet the correct road again, and yet we both persisted on doing what made the road so dark. It was clear by that point that things could not go as they were and had been for the past months, we had to turn it totally around or end things. And as you suspected, the initial scene involves several incidents combined (not literally but sort of) which set us off on the wrong path. They were the things I did not like in his actions regarding our iving together arrangement.

I realized a couple of days AFTER the dream what exactly had been the wrong turn. Living together is not just a courtship, and with the daily stresses it becomes hard to be on your best behavioiur. I knew this before he moved in with me. I knew and expected there would be mutual territorial barking (and that is one of the initial meanings of the dogs for me) and by itself it is rather harmless. It seems normal and every partner's right to indicate and express what they absolutely do not like and do not want to happen again. And that was what we had been doing. This SEEMS correct, and which is why I could not understand how on earth I had taken the wrong road. The problem was that at some point that had become all the feedback we had been given each other: what we don't like, what we did not want to happen again, what we wanted to see changed. We did not say anymore what we did like, what we wanted the other to keep on doing. As a consequence we stopped doing these things too.

By the time I had this dream I felt I was nagging all the time, someone I did not wish to be and someone I could not believe my boyfriend (or even myself) could love. And since he had stopped doing what made me feel loved, I could not fathom why on earth he was still with me. It made me insecure, and at some point even jealous. I knew I was not the person inside the way I acted anymore. The same was true for him.  

Once I realized the cause of the negative picture, I proposed to him to try and word things in a positive way, in an affectionate way (how we originally communicated), to tell the other what did make us feel loved and use a practical example of the past. At first he did not grasp what I meant, but I gave him the simple example of how I loved being touched affectionately, how I link it to being loved by him with more than just the words, and how it cushions a request not to do this or that anymore. I gave him a clear example of the past where he had asked me not to do x anymore, while carressing my cheek and smile at me lovingly. And once I had said this, he instantly acted on it. Incidentally we had this convo while I was driving us home from his work. After a couple of days of practicing this constant positive show of affection the situation resolved itself naturally, in so much that we spontaneously started to do the stuff we wanted from each other without the other needing to ask for it several times in a row.

Yes, my boyfriend was still in the car when I got out to go to the farm and returned to the car. And though I do not plan to move to a suburb (I kinda find suburbs boring, sorry), I do want to settle down with him, in our own way: marriage, have a household together, a child if it may be so, etc... In essence I love having him with me, and organize the household together. He had to return to Nicaragua for a couple of months though, but we managed to become supportive of each other, rather than negative. We both now realize the pit traps and how to stay aware of communicating our needs, wants and grievances in a positive way as well as more open to foresee those needs and wants before the other needs to tell them.

The dogs were interesting:
- initially they served as a couple (male and female) barking to protect their personal boundaries... barking is not mean or vicious, and actually rather harmless... we had done what we had done with well meaning intentions, not intent to hurt the other, just warn the other off. I knew this behaviour to be well intended rationally, which was why it was so hard to realize how much damage it had done ... scaring each other away
- the dogs, once I meet them, become unconscious protectors and guides back to the relationship. They represent the help from the unconscious, a sign of hope, which lifts the darkness for me.
- and I now even realize how much the dogs symbolize each of us: one could see my boyfriend as a streetwise guy. He's good hearted, intelligent and strong, and though he had a home and family, the circumstances of Nicaragua are what we call streetlife experiences. Yet he has a big drive to prove how much he can do in life despite of it. Meanwhile the female pet dog is me... I have an obvious status in my world: a teacher, master degree, "good breeding"... and my biggest need is to be petted (lol) and stroked. A bit of a Lady and the Tramp arhcetype story.
- even the colouring fits. I'm kinda shocked to come across it in my dreams as archetypes, but then they are the facts, even though I obviously don't let myself be influenced by it: I'm "white" (European), and he is the suntanned mixed mestiz (Indian and Spanish).
- the two together were not just a sign of hope in how they responded to me and how I was not scared of them, but also because no matter how odd they looked together, they worked as a team.

The farm has a positive meaning too imo: things grow on farms, it's an industry of fruitfulness, growth and harvesting. So, this dream and point of time in the relationship is a growth opportunity, but since the dogs (us) emerge from the farm as a couple it indicates to me that we grow from each other by being together. Yes, couples break up when a relationship turns into a barking contest, but people imo do not even belong in each other's lives as intimate as a couple, when they cannot grow from each other. When they cannot grow or evolving by being with each other, then they do not have the "karma" to be a couple, do not belong with each other, no earthly life connection.

In reality I never asked anyone for advice how to solve my relationship, but found it within... the dogs indicate it was to come from within. But the archetypal women experienced in running a household with a husband and children, remind me of where I want and needed to go. They helped me to mind-map unconsciously where things went wrong and how to find the good road once more.

In essence this dream was not saying that it is wrong that we are together, but instead that it was wrong for us to be at that dead end, that we had to turn around the way we had come and find the good road again, and we did exactly that.  

Awesome SSR

Good to hear things are turning around for you.  I agree about the 'burbs being a bit boring, but in my location & career I don't have much choice.  I have done the next best thing and bought a house on the rural-urban fringe, on the border of State Forest and a big State park.  Its a nice family-friendly suburbs with lots of nice parks, and short distance to the town centre with shopping and all.  Thing is it takes an hour each way to and from work, so I am away for 9 hours on a good, more towards 10 hours each day.

But then I would probably whinge about it if I was away from my family for 5 hours each day so theres the rub.  Hate being away from them.

The dogs were an interesting symbol.  I thought they may represent a couple, but because I had made that friend connection in the past it didn't occur that it could be a more personal symbol, but then the link there is also physical appearance which I have no clue on ;).

I like the moral of the dream as well.  Keep it positive.  Even the way in which you 'bark' can be done with a positive spin.  Negativity is pretty much always responded to with negativity, which of course is responded to with negativity which creates sort of a spiral effect.  The same with positivity.

I don't expect another dream translator to be able to associate my very personal cues

hehehe, the size did not fit though... I'm 5ft11. He's not a small Nicaraguan, but I'm still taller, certainly on heels.

I hardly ever dream of dogs, certainly not as companions... instead I would dream of cats when it comes to trusted companions and advizors. The reason is simply because I've had cats all my life, and been without one no more than 8 months in total of my life. I lived by myself for 10 years, with the sole companion of a cat. So, my spirit friends in dreams are usually cats.

I think the dogs served much better here though than cats, because cats are solitary and singular... dogs are the perfect symbol for loyalty. No better way to express two partners sticking up for each other and band together as a strong united team towards outsiders than having two dogs running down from the house and yard where they live.

And then they were very helpful to turn the mood of the dream around... they were the first real positive thing in my dream, because I'm usually so anxious around them. Their friendly nose butting and tails wagging when they met me truly surprised me in my dream. It kinda worked as a jolt in that sense.

Thanks for your own ideas on this dream