I have always been loyal and a good friend by nature, but have come to exist in a sort of limbo where no one deserves my loyalty if that makes sense. While I am a good friend and look out for/ protect those I care about, my low tolerance for nonsense/ foolishness/ recklesness (im just noticing) has come to play a prevalent role in life events for the past year or more. While I was more secure in my connections when I was younger I have always been alone, and though I have received the help and "good will" of others, I have done everything myself. I don't see this as disloyalty, once I end the relationship, I no longer have any obligation to you. I see no reason to leave myself in a relationship where the other person will bring me down or destroy me, or inhibit my progress in any way.I never had family ties became emancipated because my father was seeking to destroy my life (I have large goals and a destiny to fulfill) In the end, there is no relationship that I will not end if it comes between me and my progression. That is why i didn't care about girl's feelings because (i think i have an idea of who the girl is in my life and) she is on some bullshit, she has many issues to sort through which I tried to help her solve (with much resistance) and I didnt see it being worth the stress of trying to help someone who know they need help but being met with backlash. I am aware that my brash nature makes people want to fight the advice i give them though end the end they know I'm right.

Any how, I have questions and comments.

Also, when I told the killer yes, i considered trusting him, but sensed he wanted to murder me and knew it would be to volatile/ vulnerable a situation for myself what do you make of this?

"This indicates cutting ties with someone, wanting to remove someone's influence in your life, and that this desire to remove someone out of your life follows from anger."
These decisions (there are many) aren't usually anrgy but very calm, logical, levelheaded.

"wander through a camp of makeshift shelter without any surety of lasting bonds, dependent on the goodwill of others in order to get what you need"- very interesting, I am most likely to be the one to break the bonds, the structure of my relationships in life is frail, though I ALWAYS get what I want and need, mostly through my own efforts. hmm

There is something like "cold anger"... Sometimes an incident can anger you so much you turn deadly cold to people. It's still anger causing your reaction. I understand that cold anger, and cutting ties. I've cut "friends" out of my life overnight myself, when their flaws had messed up my own life a few times too many. And each time it were people who felt very insecure at the time and tried to feel more secure by meddling in my life, thinking they were doing me a favour or something. They were all cold, self-defense decisions, and yet I admit that I was livid too. Despite those cold wrath feelings, I could still feel compassion and sympathy for them too.

Flower, are you saying that you don't need people in your life? That all you need and want is impersonal stuff for the rest of your life? I doubt it. If you treat people as you claim to do here, look at them so harshly then you will end up being poorer over it... emotionally poorer. And that is the message of your dream.

Yes, people can make drama, people can mess up their own lives and meanwhile shrug at your advice. But they have a right to do stupid things. It is their life eventually. Only when those stupid events directly have an impact in your life (like say gossipping to your friends, making you lose a job or boyfriend/date, lending money they never pay back) would whatever they do matter to you. You may not mean it this way, and I'm sure you're not, but I'm reflecting back with feedback how you sound when speaking about your almost machiavelist approach to people: it sounds arrogant, devoid of feeling, heartless, using people for your own ends, ... I think it's a brave and very honest post. But it doesn't present a humane nor wise picture of yourself.

It seems your own dream wants to warn you about this too... that a part of you wants to kill this "I can do it all alone!" personality within you, before it's too late.

ETA: I've read your latest reply to your other dream where you repeat and say things as "looking down on society", your goal being "to dominate the world", using relations for your own means, and that combined with fast "spiritual growth". I'm sorry, but "world domination", "looking down on people" and "using people" is far from being "enlightened." Whichever religion or philosophy you admire, but examples such as Jezus Christ, Buddha, etc talk of compassion, having a heart for everyone.

But you are young I see, and only starting your journey. I wish you well and learning to enjoy still

Hmm thankyou. I am not about using people at all, that is fake disingenuous, dishonorable I don't like such things. Did you read my last post in the other link? I don't want to do it all alone, but and everyone I cut out is because of something they did to me, not because of how they live their lives although that annoys me. If i cut out everyone whos lifestlye annoys me, i REALLY wouldn't have any friends lol. but what you said about a warning makes since. Ive been making more of the dreams I posted recently because they are so powerful, ive never really had such dramatic dreams, that AFFECT ME and stay with me, at least not in recent history. and I'm glad i wrote the longer post you refer to, it (and you) helped me identify a lot of trends in my life.

as for the anger, I have a pretty good grasp of my emotions. I know when i'm angry and the majority of the cuts are just "im through" matter of fact cuts though a few have involved anger. Its never really over specific incidents like the example you gave (money, boyfriend) nor as common. I dont have typical friend problems because I dont have typical friends. most of the splits are triggered by one final thing after I have been coming to the realization that this person refuses to grow and my trying to help (as i always do because I work hard to bring those around me up, aid there progression in any way i can like i try to further mine)/ their general energy will slow my growth (when you surround yourself with people that dont believe they can accomplish anything, they dont believe you can accomplish anything and it affects your progress, on a more practical level, the activities of the group will not be progressive, but stagnant) do you see what Im saying, so I have come to a point where I find diffuclty finding people on the same page as I. Everyone is so content with mediocrity and complacence, something i NEVER want to rub off on me. so when something happens and its time for them to go, I let them go easily (most not all) its also funny that you mentioned insecurity because i loathe insecurity, esp insecurity masked in an attempt at coolness, it is one of the most detestable forms of weakness. It is one thing to doubt yourself, it is another to not admit that you doubt yourself. *grimaces* but thank you again, please read my last post in the link, and I hope to come to terms with this issue soon.

I think you are misreading my character, which is not difficult to do.
When i say "dominate the world" i mean excel in earthly material, superficial things, as opposed to spiritual progression, meditation, introspection

"look down on society" has to do with shunning complacence, ignorance, lies, murder, shallowness, purposelessness etc that has come to be embodied in society and as i went on to explain, I believe it may be my job to understand these flaws and influence positively, that is why i consider "dominating" earthly things, so that I can use these tools to influence positively

If i were to "do it on my own" i wouldn't really be doing anything; i would just be learning, cleansing, growing, without extensive social involvement (but of course social interaction) that is what I mean

also i did not say "fast" spiritual growth, I said rapid, only meaning, that I was growing, learning, realizing fast at that time, more than usual and in quick succession.

Hi flower,

I'm not judging you. I only responded on this, because this was the topic of your dream. Your own subconscious is trying to indicate that something is amiss with how you deal with the social world. And all I wish to do is reflecting how certain opinions you express can be related to this. I note particularly you express yourself in very strong wording. For example "domination", whether spiritual or material, implies the idea of telling other people what to do, and you indicate you want to do this because you think you know better. Even if you do know better on everything spiritual (including mind, emotions, body and spirit), then that does not empower you to decide for other people. Yes, there are many people who do not have much of a higher awareness, and many never will. But maybe they do not have it because they are not yet ready for it. Forced spiritual growth can have serious health (mental and physical) consequences. I only have to think of people who seek actively after kundalini when they are not yet ready for it. It even is recognized in psychology as kundalini syndrome. And these people willingly seek it, and still get out of it damaged. This is not even a situation where someone else tries to force it onto them. And in my experience, people will backlash negatively when you try to force them into a direction they did not ask for (yet), nor can handle (yet), beginning with "given unasked advice". In any case, when people are not ready, to try and force them into it, has more destructive effects rather than constructive ones.

Another strong expression is the word "loath" for example. Why do you "loath" humans who neither have the capacity for the insights nor the experience you may have had? It would be like loathing a baby for not being able to talk right or walk yet. It would be like loathing a paralized person for not being able to use his or her body optimally. Growth comes from within and is intrinsically motivated. A parent can put a baby as often as they want on its two feet and force it to walk while holding it, or keep repeating words to it in the hope it will repeat it, but the baby won't start crawling, walking or talking before it is ready. Spiritual growth is no different.

I also get the sense that you see material, emotional and spiritual as separate goals and one morally good, whereas the other is morally wrong. Flowwer, one cannot implement spiritual insights in the world without knowing how to deal with the material and emotional world. Your bodily, emotional, mental and spiritual needs, talents and achievements are interwtined. Someone who can make a spiritual difference in the world is someone who is a whole person on all those 4 issues: they know how to enjoy life materially (enjoy does not mean greed or excess), they know how to love (including those people that may not seem worthy of it for their lack of understanding), they know themselves and use their intellect.

I do think this is a strong issue for you now, also in your spiritual learning path: when and what can you teach, what do you still need to learn yourself, as well as accept the restraints and capacities of everyone around you, and to whom you are ultimately connected. But you are starting to realize all this too recently.

Kind regards