Jellied- i dont have much self belief in myself, sometimes i do and i'm really trying my hardest to work at that

cool!  If you turn the other cheek -    pardon the pun - then it could be the foundations are stopping your self belief to be born.

The only way I can think of, is that your upbringing (wild guess, random guess) is conflicting with what your own opinions that has grown inside of you.


The interpretion of dreams is an on going process, I'm always finding something new, or something that contradicts my previous thinking.  I am keen to know - eventually - what the out come was/is, so that I can learn from this one.  As it's different!

JJ

well yeah my mom tried to raise me a Jehovah's witness and when i turned 17 i quit because i couldn't handle it anymore, they like to brainwash people at least in my opinion they do. i have my own beliefs about certain things but sometimes my mom's voice pops in my head and everytime i wanna do something fun or get to thinking about what i wanna do in my life i feel guilty....like i shouldn't be doing any of that! I've tried so hard to ignore it but its litterly engraved in my head and its taking me awhile to ignore it, i wanna go on this life path and do what makes me happy but its hard to wanna do that since i'm so afraid of it due to my early teachings. from time to time my mom will even pop into my dreams and tell me i cant have something or do this while i'm dreaming and its really annoying!

I can imagine it must be hard, your parents only want to do what they think is best for you, and you are at an age where you have to make decisions in regards to what path to walk on throughout your life.  Is your mother right? Are you right?  Who knows.  Maybe it would help to accept some of the things she had tried to teach you about, ie morals, manners and beliefs and incorporate into what you feel is right, it might help a little until you gain more confidence in how you want to live, thus over time, be more decisive with what you want, and be less resilient to her ways.

My brother's wife was a Jehovah's Witness, and it took her a long time to accept that it wasn't a be all or end all to believe in the same way as her parents did.  They do, over time, have accepted that by renouncing the faith, it didn't mean they lost her.  

give yourself time, and be brave.  Life is too short.

JJ

She taught you what she knows. Thinking of the belief system as a pattern or programming, if it is conflicting with what you feel led to do then reprogramming must go on to integrate patterns and beliefs that better serve. One tactic used in christianity is guilt tripping people into subservience. What matters more is the truth within.