Hi Soul Dancer
You have some serious issues with your family that eat you out emotionly from within. I would say the depression is your middle name.The original reason you started fighting with your sister was never resolved. You have a fear that there will never be resolution or atonement and she would die before that happens.Every step you do in life makes you take a 1/2 a step back.
In some ways im suprised by this as you are a pure soul. It is time to make a line in the sand and let your family know how you feel and what emotional needs you have.You need to clean the slate with sis and reintroduce yourself to her as the sister you wanted to be not the one you became. Im assuming Gran has passed over. But i dont feel that.I feel shes still here.
either way your dreams suggest that you want her to be proud of you and need her love and aceptance. You already have that.
This is the same with your mother.
Stop argueing with her. start hugging.
You need more sunshine in your life, find things to do that make you smile dont watch anything bad or angry for a month.
Just watch comedys or happy movies. Yes im serious, you need to reprogram your core thoughts.
It takes 30 days change and only one step to start.
Cheers Pete

Hi Psychic Chef  


Well i'll first start with saying thanks for taking the time to read and reply to my post.......Its so true about me taking one step forward and 1/2 a step back.....I did come out of my shell once,was alot more happy but now,i have no idea who or what i am.....I will take your advice and try to get back on track,i find it hard with my family as im not close to them,i cant even tell them i love them,pretty sad if i may say so....Yes my gran is still alive,im starting to get on great with her which makes me feel good......Depression is a big part of my life, its eating me up,it drives me crazy,why me,i dont have THAT bad of life so whats my problem lol   ......Can i ask what do you mean by Pure Soul????

And i will take what you said seriously about reprograming my thoughts,i will do it as best i can!!!!

Thanks again,

Tamara