I kind of have an idea about the ex- that part seems pretty cut and chase clear like I was just making wishes in my dreams.  What I am curious about though, is what y'all might think about driving in the UAE.  Talking to an old man that smells of spices, and the last part, in the closet that didn't house my clothes.  Let me know what you think ok?  Thanks!

I was home I Washington.  I was in the kitchen of my parents house, though it was both my parents house and different than my parents house.  My friends jen and my estranged friend jess from Virginia were in the house along with several other people whom I don’t remember.   Suddenly, Bendy showed up and wanted to talk.  I remember holding his head in my hands and saying “I loved you.  I’ve always loved you.  And I screwed it all up.  But it has been ten years, and I still love you.”  In my dream, he accepted that.  He asked me “why I had come back last may.”  I told him, very embarrassed because I did not have a good reason that “it must have been because I hoped to see you.”  He accepted this answer as well.  

***Suddenly, we were in the United Arab Emirates and we were driving to Abu Dhabi.  I was in the military, and served a deployment there- it is right next to saudi.  I remembered the roads to drive, but I had forgotten that I no longer had a license.  The drivers moved super fast and reckless as they really do.  I then remembered that I did in fact still have my license, but it had expired.  I thought maybe he needed to drive since he had been a Marine Security Guard and he surely had an international drivers license.

Suddenly, we were no longer driving.  We were in somebody’s house in UAE, and it was dark.  I was talking to an old man who was sitting in front of some sort of ornate wall in his living room, and though what he said was important, I no longer remember a thing he said.  I got up and went into the kitchen and his two cooking daughters also had a conversation that I cannot recall even though it was also important.  I think they may have been indian as their hair was very dark, but they wore colorful clothing.  The house was dark, and smelled like spices.  It was both foreboding and comforting. ***

Somewhere in UAE, I began to feel like Chris and I were a couple.  When we were back in the states in my parents house again suddenly, I knew that we were dating, which was unfortunate, because I was still with my husband in a way.  I knew Jonathan was around somewhere, but I did not see him in the dream.  His presence was just felt, though I ignored it and didn’t feel much guilt.  Jen and Jess were still there and were talking badly about me in the next room.  I went in to try to explain myself.  I told them that I loved Chris and always had, but I also loved my husband.  That I was confused.  They pretended to understand, but I knew they were still disgusted by my actions.

*** Bendy and I were going to go to Seattle for the afternoon, but when I looked at the clock, it read 1:20pm.  I told him I had to put my two toddler boys down for a nap and change my clothes.  I laid the boys down to sleep and they didn’t want to lay down.  I then tried to change my clothes, but I did not recognize any of them, and didn’t know what to do.  The dresses all looked like they were from the 80’s and there were several shirts but no pants.  I found a dress I liked- a strapless 50’s kind of dress (that day, when I wasn’t dreaming and asleep, I had seen the same dress on a fat lady in a store) and took off my clothes to put it on.  When I got into the dress, I had become obese.  I tried to hide it, but Chris came in the bedroom.  I cringed away and hid myself.  He then kissed me, and knowing we were going to do something private, I closed the door to the room.  I then realized there were two doors, and shut the other as well.  There was nobody in the hall.***

Then I woke up.

Thanks for any insight!  Last time, with the dream interpretation, I was able to look at a situation with my ex and realize that I was giving some of the baggage back.  That felt like a relief.
Raquel

Hi Raquel-

Based on your dream it would seem that you still have some feelings for Bendy.. Was he your first love? Perhaps there is a little guilt, a possibility there is still that "what if things had worked out?" or even a possibility it's just the sweet memory of how you once felt for him.

The message that the man was trying to tell you sounds like your mind is trying to flag you about something relating to your relationship with someone in particular or your relationships in general. But the message is unclear and that is because you are still trying to sort out some feelings or unresolved things; that message will be clear once you have figured it all out.

Jess and Jen I would imagine could represent one of two things, maybe even both: 1. they are different sides of your psyche... one is supportive of you, Jen who is your friend and wants the best for you and the other is Jess, your estranged friend the one who resembles something that is against or opposes you. I would gather if the first example is the case, then you are having conflicting feelings about something in particular and this is why Jess and Jen appeared as characters in your dream - kind of like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other - the voice of reason and the voice of doubt and or mischief, perhaps it could even judgment . On the other hand, it is quite possible you have unresolved feelings about how your relationship ended with Jess and perhaps the demise of the relationship was over a relationship you had with a male? In any event it is possible Jess appeared in your dream to serve as a reminder that there is conflict and something that goes unresolved in relation to her personally for you.

You mention Chris and you are married but it seems you throw care to the wind and let your body take over anyway and to heck with your conscience. your clothing is too small on you and you feel exposed, the obesity you see is ugly and shameful and your girlfriends are gossiping about you negatively I might add about your love for Chris while you are married to Jonathan. I would say you feel torn, confused, guilty and shameful about something in your life... what it is I do not know. I would gather there is some love triangle going on in your life right now... Perhaps you wonder about the what ifs of a relationship long ago and far away (Bendy) because it holds ideal memories for you, and Chris who is the present or the future possibly someone you are interested in currently or maybe those feelings don't exist at all... perhaps Chris just resembles the potential of 'there is a someone else out there for you' and no guilt for you any of your actions towards your husband who you mention you are no longer married I would fathom means you have moved past Jonathan and ready to leave that part of your life behind you.

It sounds like you are trying to sort things out and gather some perspective and it's going to take some time if this is the case to be able to move forward.

I hope this was helpful and made sense to you.

Angelique