My father died seven months ago.  I had this dream last night...


The nurses called my mom and told her that dad was alive and ready to come home. He was not very animated, not like himself, though the years of cancer had taken a lot out of him. But I kept telling my mom that dad was dead- this wasn't dad. She said, "But they say it is. What can I do?" So I was yelling at dad, saying "We buried you! I was there! I saw the casket put into the ground!" He had no explanations, and neither tried to deny it or admit it.


I was very bothered by this dream when I woke.  Thoughts?

Hi Nimisha-

First may I start this post off with I am terribly sorry for your loss at such a young age.

Based on your dream, and this depends a lot on how your views are of how your mother is coping with this I have a few interpretations all similar with a little variable.

If your mom is not coping well, then I would say your dream is telling you you have taken notice that she has not yet reconciled with the passing of your father (having a rough time dealing with it) while you have accepted it, although you are still going through the grieving process.

It could also mean your mom is not coping well with it, she is in a deep state of denial (as if he isn't gone at all - or talking like he is still alive) while you have accepted it, although you are still going through the grieving process.

If she is coping with it as best she can and doing well with it, this dream could also mean that you have reconciled with it and you are still going through the grieving process.

It could also mean that your mom is coping well with it and although you have accepted it you may be a little annoyed with your mom since she seems to be coping better than you feel she should be.

There is a clash of two feelings in this dream: You are shocked by your mothers acceptance of his return and her devil may care attitude that she recently buried him as if she isn't putting two plus two together, but yet here he is and she is quite accepting of it.  There is some denial someplace, either your mom or you.  The shock of his death, the fact that you didn't feel this was your father and your reaction was not a happy one but one of "we buried you, you're dead" is indicative he died an untimely death which leaves you with a little anger or resentment. There are many variables for this and I'm not sure where that anger or resentment stems from being angry towards him because you feel he may have given up, angry in general (at no one in particular other than the situation itself) because he was taken away from you too soon and it's unfair, angry at yourself for still feeling the loss of your father, angry because there were some unresolved issues between you and your father, or you harbor some anger towards your mom because she may have possibly bounced back quicker than you feel she should or she isn't moving forward and she is way behind schedule. I don't know you or the situation so it's hard for me to say and you're going to have to figure a lot of this out and mix and match what I wrote to what applies to you. There could even be more variables I am missing...

Losing a parent is never easy no matter what age they leave us and you never really shake that feeling of deep loss and the sorrow that accompanies it. However, as time passes, although those feelings never truly go away they do subside with each and every passing day. But for each individual the grieving process is different. There are no time limits or a schedule on how long it takes to begin healing.

I hope this was helpful to you and again I am truly sorry for your loss


Angelique

Does anyone know what it means when you have seriel dreams?  That is dreams that tell a story, each one picking up where the last one left off?  I've been told that it's extremely rare but no one seems to know what it means (if anything at all).

I've heard of them, but I'm not too familiar with them other than my personal belief is your mind is not at rest with a particular situation and is either 1. trying to figure it out progressively or 2. playing out something in your mind with a better outcome than a resolved issue had.

Thanks, Angelique.  Yeah, the first interpretation probably is the closest.