my husb died young of a sudden heart attack 7 years ago leaving me with four young boys aged 1 to 7.
Probably about a year after he died I would get this recurring dream that he came back into my life ssaying he had had a bump to the head and got amnesia.  Obviously I would wake deeply saddened that it was just a dream.

The dream would recur and become more detailed, he had a new family during the period he had amnesia.

Later I would dream he came back and I was devastated because I didnt know how he would fit back into my life. I had become independant, making all the decisions (previously he had made all decisions). I felt guilty and at a loss.  I now enjoy my independence and doubt I would live with a man again (still very busy with my boys of course)

Do you think this is some sort of healing dream? I feel terribly guilty  to think that perhaps we would no longer be compatible. But since he died I feel I have adopted much of his personality, making me much stronger and independant.

Time is the best medicine..

Hi pam,

May I first start off with I'm terribly sorry for your loss and I can only imagine how rough it was/is and the changes you had to go through raising four boys on your own.  ::big hugs:

Now, about your dream - this is my take on it: A recurring dream about your husband returning, but he would return with amnesia and you would find out he had another family; I would imagine you had these dreams early on... closer to when he passed. This was your minds way of telling you you've passed the grieving stage and it's time to pick up the pieces and move forward. Not in the sense that you should forget him, I think that was why you had the dream it was telling you life will go on, it doesn't mean you will forget him. One never forgets, but time heals and as time goes by, it gets a little easier with each passing day.

The latter part of your recurring dreams where he returns and you don't know how he will fit in means you have apparently succeeded, I'm sure with some road blocks and challenges of course, in raising four boys, running a household and making ends meet. Most importantly through this you have gained independence, confidence and you know there is nothing you aren't capable of. I think this is like a mental pat on the back, a kudos from you to you And you deserve it!!! A job well done! It isn't a dream of compatibility.. these are good dreams.. healthy dreams and by those dreams I can see you have a very healthy attitude with your misfortune and I'm certain your boys do too. It means you have coped well with all things considered.

I hope this was helpful.

Angelique

oh Angelique thank you so much for your warm and comforting words. It does indeed make more sense the way you describe it.

It has been an amazing journey that I have been on (not that I recommend it) but it is certainly true that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. I have reached a point where I can finally say how lucky I am. I had a wonderful husband (and some people never experience  love like that) and not one, not two, but FOUR beautiful boys  I am truly blessed.

blessings to you Angelique

Pam (nick comes from living in a household of constant pandemonium)

Pam - I feel for you loss and celebrate that you have made a life for you and the boys ... it is not easy, I know.

I am at the start of my journey towards surviving without my soulmate.  I was lucky to share my life with my husband for 25 years but the parting has still been painful - he hasn't yet come back to me but that really is no surprise.

Having read Angelique's message, it does make a great deal of sense.  I hope that I too will get some messages directly one day.

Although you have not asked, I am sending you a barrel full of my HUGE hugs for you and your boys because you deserve them.

Brightest Blessings to you all

Sarah