Wow. A lot to digest. This is an incredible piece of analysis. Honestly, Reneé, I don't know what you do for a living, but if it isn't like what you did here, you are in the wrong field. You had mention psychotherapy before. Some discipline that lets you analyze and help people, certainly. I am in awe of the depth and detail of your analysis. Like I said, Wow. I feel like I should give you my health insurance card so you can get your $150 and hand over a $20 co-pay to boot... (If you ever do take on clients, let me know, because I would be interested. You have a gift, to be sure). You did ask for feedback, and I will try and do that here. My comments probably won't be 100% right because I am trying to figure stuff out.
| TaurusGemini429 wrote: |
And now for your interpretation....
Ok, now before I begin - I should say a few things:
I have adopted a method of dream analysis that I talk to the querent as if this dream is present tense. I realize you had this dream a year ago, but I am going to refer to it like it is a message for you now. If you have already worked out what your subconscious was telling you then these words will sound familiar to you. If not then the message is still valid, I would imagine...
Also, I know we've chatted in many threads but I am going to talk as if I don't know anything about you.. the truth is I really don't other than what you are telling me here - but bear in mind that this is my approach here.
Now, I am going to analyze this point by point. I have made some inferences about your waking mind from your dream which I will tell you throughout the analysis. I'll start by saying that it seems you respond best to structured intellectual points than through analogy or myth. This is why I am going to go through this in a linear way. I hope by doing this I can walk you through my analysis and that will help you analyze on your own better especially if the conclusion I have drawn is wrong but the points are valid. This can happen sometimes. I love it though because it gets the dreamer thinking about his/her own dream and they end up with the most complete understanding of all... |
Okay, makes sense to me. Whether I respond better to structured intellectual analysis than analogy or myth, well, I'll trust you on that. I have no clue. I do think I am often stuck as a linear thinker, so your linear presentation probably makes the best sense to me, but you probably already figured that out.
| TG429 wrote: |
The dream was in color - such as my daughter's red hair, but the backgrounds (like the university) were muted greys. The details seemed very real. When I woke, I had to convince myself it was just a dream.
My 14 year old daughter says she wanted to take a tour of Brandeis University in Waltham, Mass. (Note: in real life she wants to go to NYU). We go to the college and line up to enter the university. There is one elevator available, so another aspiring college wannabee (let's say she was a high school senior) runs for the elevator, as do I and my daughter.
Black and white dreams suggest you may need to be more objective in formulating decisions. With the red hair of your daughter standing out and with any other color that may have stood out that you did not mention these are the particular areas you need objectivity (not in her hair color but in her in respect to the dream...) |
Well, the dream was a while ago, so I don't remember the exact circumstances. I guess I am struggling with the concept pf being more objective in formulating decisions. I suppose I can be wishy-washy, is that what you mean. More decisive? Or basing in better criteria? I thought it was the former, not the latter...
| TG429 wrote: |
| Her bright red hair suggests courage in the shade I pictured - but perhaps there are other subtleties of hidden resentments - but if so, these likely only apply to you. |
Well, actually she has red hair. But I will consider what you say next.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Let me explain, in your dream there are aspects of yourself in every character. The characters are also there for a reason. This dream is a very literal dream. There are hardly any vague symbols in it and it began as if it could have really been happening. As you said, it also felt very real - this means - very important! |
Some dreams feel like dreams, I guess (does that make sense). This one conveyed a strong feeling of reality.
| TG429 wrote: |
| So the dream begins with you standing in line with your daughter. Here you feel a sense of anticipation in waking life of some event. Another layer of this is that you typically look to others to help you move forward - as this is the way of life for you and your decisions for your own future depend very much on institutions which can provide something for you. You are not an entrepreneur nor are you a cheat or manipulator. You stay true to the guidelines that have been set and have worked well by those before you. This is quite a steady and rational approach to life and (I would have to agree) this is the safest means to an end. |
Definitely not an entrepreneur (god that was hard to spell, thank god for copy & paste ;) nor the cheat or manipulator. A follower, not a leader, so I try and work in the system, like you assessed.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Then you reach the elevator - here is a door of opportunity - in the dream and in real life, quite literally these seem to open quickly (for your daughter) and you (may) fear they could close just as quickly or fill up (competition) before you make your move. As you rush for the door it seems the other student (a bit older and more qualified to be interviewing for colleges at this stage according to to normal convention) reaches the door just a moment sooner and your daughter makes a close second and then you. This may not have been so but it is how I pictured it. It is past present and future represented here. Past being you, present is your daughter, future is the other student you dont know. Here in this mini race in a small way - you felt a bit of anxiety, and a push to the door, this is a literal push for success... |
Sometimes I think my daily routine is juggling fears. The past was an example, for me, of lost opportunity, of real world situations making it impossible for me to finish the 1st semester in college way back when. Maybe this is what you are referring to? Do I want better for my daughter? Yes. Do I think she is doing a good enough job to get there? I worry. Am I concerned I may not be able to put her there... um, possibly (okay, yes).
| TG429 wrote: |
| Now what I also see is that your daughter made it quite like the "supposedly more qualified" student did. You redognize that your daughter is gifted. She also doesn't seema strand nervous about success. You seem to invest a lot of anxiety and anticipation into her success (as good parents are concerned with the wellfare of their child) and you seem nervous and protective of keeping doors open to her that she should be entitled to... with you here just a moment behind her I see the first inkling of a possible extra effort in her life to make up for an opportunity of your own in your own past that you may be bitter about because it was not given to you... not sure how to put this but maybe you feel some institution or some unlucky chance has cheated you out of what you could you have had at some point or another and you would not want this to happen to her. |
My single mom did her best to put me through college but through some mismanagement issues and other circumstances, I had to pull out in the middle of the 1st semester (all those potential credits lost) and come home and work. Well, I guess bitter might apply. And I do not want this to happen to her. But I'm not much better off than Mom at this point. Possibly worse. Very insightful observation.
| TG429 wrote: |
| You should definately come to terms with this bitterness because it will not help her it will only introduce a gap in your ways of thinking that I imagine have been quite close. It seems you bond intellectually with your daughter and you have always opened up new worlds of her mind. I also imagine she is grateful that you have opened up every door for her and more and seen to her excellence in academics and maybe more - and as time goes on this increases and continues. |
LOL, not that she would ever admit. If she feels this way, it is not overtly apparent. Maybe my subconscious picks up on it? Maybe, I can't claim to understand these things.
| TG429 wrote: |
All 3 of us get in the elevator and press a button for some floor up high. At that point I look around, and my daughter is gone. Or maybe she never made it in the elevator, I'm not sure. Thinking I'll get off at the next floor and look for her, the other girl disappears.
Now here you press a button for some floor high up. This is literally, high ambitions. It is a wonderful positive influence you have and she has this herself as do all the kids who were in line. |
That's cool. Shows I care!
| TG429 wrote: |
Then she disappears. There is a lot of imagery here but mainly;
1. She is quite qualified to handle her life decisions without your help,
2. Perhaps even moreso than the average kid of excellent intellegence (this oxymoron is quite fitting today with groups of kids who come from excellent sources of education)
I say 'moreso' because she dissapears seconds before the other girl -
3. which brings me to 3 - here she is demonstrating her independence (and intelligence, in the same respect.) Now this doesnt mean you're not, it may just mean she is more prepared for her changing future than you are (prepared for her changing future, to specify whose future i speak of...) |
Interesting assessment I would never have figured out. She was 2 when me and her Mom broke up and has had to become independent and self-reliant fast (esp. when her Mom had a nervous breakdown a few years later). #1 is probably unquestionably true. #2 I would agree with as well, a lot of people thinks she is often more ready for life than her peers. She has to remind me sometimes that she is still a freshman, not a junior. (In senior moments I think she's a junior). As far as #3, well, I know she's ready to embrace the future while I am not (on a lot of levels). So I'd say you're 3 for 3, here.
| TG429 wrote: |
Now, I don't blame you - although I don't have a child so I could not know how it may feel to anticipate her going to school in a few short years - I did chose to stay close to home for college... I went as far as ..Boston College (35 minutes from door to dorm! That includes all the lights on comm ave!) Strange though, I have an independent streak, for sure, but I stuck around (?)
Anyway, back to you... so this brings me back to the setting for a moment... here is where I see your fear of "losing her"
Before I can contemplate what is going on, the elevator starts shaking madly side to side and the floor of the elevator starts spinning. Then the elevator launches in the air and comes down a while later --- no memory of the intervening time. When I come to, the elevator is a room in a building that has collapsed. It takes a while, but I finally manage to extricate myself from the building, but (in the dream, not in real life) I get soaked doing so, although there is no water present.
So one moment you notice she has gone - you instantly react to follow, then notice the other girl is gone and begin to panic - maybe first a sense of losing her like letting her down or not being able to keep up but then shame for a sense of feeling left behind and out of the loop when the other girl is gone - and then finally in the same minute you are shocked into a sense of your world crashing down and you are alone! Panic, for sure.
Dreams are often exaggerations of the real life situation but it may seem as if you have heavy expectations on your daughter beyond what you realize. For example - you weren't both in agreement on which floor she got off at - could mean she may (at such a young age) already have begun to develop a good idea of what her own future holds for her. Things may already be changing and you may need to see things from her point of view more clearly. Disruption in your vision of her and the reality of her may be earth shaking for you, though. |
In terms of college plans and such, I think I am onboard with her future. Her plans are ambitious, however, at least for a Dad of modest (at best) means. Seeing things from her perspective is to see something that looks unlikely. That is the best interpretation I can make at 11:30 PM. I thought I would get a paragraph or two, never knew this was such a dream that required such a detailed analysis. I owe you TG429, but not sure how to pay. Visa?
| TG429 wrote: |
This may not be the case or it may still be but there is another layer to all of this elevator image:
The image of solid ground. It seems, when you become 'alone' that maybe you feel solely responsible for her life and how it turns out. You may feel an extra burden, as if you are mother father breadwinner and best friend - all in one! You may also, quite literally, feel unprepared for what the future holds as the demands on you will become different. |
You got that right!
| TG429 wrote: |
A family with talented children in a good university means paying enormous amounts of money (especially if you are not considered "unusual" by some standard that allows you to apply for this scholarshio or that or by some artbitrary statistical rating - ie like from Montana - because colleges want to fill a quota for each state etc etc...) basically, I know this not because I had to pay a dime for college but because my father was genuinely 300 times happier than I was when I graduated!
So, what I am saying in many words is, it looks like you are fearing something losing ground when she is independent - it could be some other form of self stability but it looks like it is either one or both of:
- How am I going to let go when she leaves and we aren't pursuing her success together? She is the joy of my life!
and/or
- (silently in the back of your mind) How am I ever going to afford this? Well I know there are ways but I have to know how to budget this way or that? Ohhh the paperwork! Ohhh the fine print! Ohhh I don't know who to ask for help with the paperwork! (it doesnt seem like you need help paying as you plan to pay in full and not owe any person money but work out the finances or loans or payment plans and paperwork to apply for hoq you can save -OR- you may be hoping and expecting she will get a hefty scholarship so you are nervous at any competitors because of their threat to her scholarship and chance to get in) |
The second and the third seem the most likely. Probably the second. The emotions in your descriptions are vivid and convey how I feel!
| TG429 wrote: |
anyway, concerns with asking for help is another theme and this is a great segway for the next thing i see....
so the elevator jolts and shakes (change) lurches up (toward hopes of your own making which may be based on unrealistic standards or on a false footing of ground that has just erupted - the elevator being the false grounding because it is high above the ground in a building tower - also of note this is a man made structure and institution so you were relying on them for footing and they failed you here in a way...)
next you are in a room underground. The building around you is in ruin but this room is still in tact. Here we see the shambles of ruin you somehow predict to be where you end up as a result of the events. Maybe you've been in this situation before - where man made institutions - be it academic, social, religious, or marriage - have left you alone with a mess around you. |
Well, academia, social, religious and marriage have all been failures on my part, so I think you've got that right.
| TG429 wrote: |
| You have strength, though. The ability to make it out. |
I was beginning to wonder. A piece of encouragement! Yay!
| TG429 wrote: |
| But this is a hopeless place of despair for you - as the ground beneath you as crumbled and life as you knew it was very different after and very void of a sense of meaning. Maybe this has never happened but it could point to an unconscious fear of yours that may lie in something you've seen happen in your life (in childhood?) or in a past life. |
I'll just skip the details and say you are right. At this point I need to say I am impressed.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Regardless, you feel alone here - because this fate happened to you and no one around you. You climb out, alone, and end up drenched... here is *finally* where we see emotions. The thing is no one, not even you sees the water. You are aware of it (your emotions, and that you are drenched) but you may not know the source of them or even the practicality of them - since the water seems so incongruous - How did it get there? Why are you drenched? Is it that you harbor your emotions so deeply that they are only there to drown you at the worst times in life? Is it that you are ashamed of them or do not know them so when they overcome you - even at times that are, by convention, okay to be emotional, they are - to you - a sign of weakness that can not be tolerated? Whatever the emotional nature of inconsistency or incongruity is you are not comfortable with either a certain set of emotions or a certain display of emotions - and they seem to immerse you while you struggle - and even catch you unawares when you are fighting for footing in the most rational sense - by arguing your way to reality or harboring anger about what is unjust etc etc... or maybe something else, I don't know. |
I am inclined to say not knowing what they are. I've made my share of mistakes, but nothing (I think???) that makes me that ashamed. Do I harbor anger against perceived injustice in my life? Probably. There is more going on in that paragraph above, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it.
| TG429 wrote: |
Anyway, the last part continues...
I need help, because of the dream's events, and see a group of Christians praying but their seems to be enmity between me and them, I'm not sure if it's my feelings for them or vice versa. I approach another person who tells me that I'm in Salem, Mass (about 30 miles away from Brandeis) and apparently I sort of know her (although in real life I cannot place her) and she offers to drive me home, but not before I go to her office and fix her computers (which I do for a living). Then I woke up.
So here is where I made some guesses that could be wrong but even if they are they could mean something else and you will be able to tell whatever it is.
So you are in a position now that forces you to ask for help. This is not a situation you feel comfortable in so even though you are in very critical condition you don't bother approaching these possible sources of help because there is enmity. |
Asking for help in my life in the R/W has generally resulted in disappointment. For the most part, I would rather die than ask for help.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Now the fact that they are Christians could point to a social group or even family but also more like a social setting or social institution or even some other institution like the ones I've named above. The feelings of enmity came after the crash so it seems you've come out but not with the same support you had here when you went in. |
I think probably family as much of my family (my daughter and me being the exceptions) are very much rigorous Christian. Daughter is basically non-spiritual and I explore different beliefs.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Also, interesting to me is that Brandeis is a predominantly Jewish school. Maybe that is relevent to you in some way. This is where my imagination would have to stretch quite far and guess maybe your family is Jewish. |
I used to live a few streets away from Brandeis growing up. Used to run laps at the track before going to high school (was an early riser back then).
| TG429 wrote: |
I know from friend families how often the social religious community of a temple gathers together for holidays because my pseudo-brothers and sisters (Ali and Ben) grew up before my eyes while I was at BC and babysat them and also catered the rosh hashana parties their parents would throw. Their social lives were very centered around family and friends and these family and friends included the families and children who they went to temple with and school with. They went to different schools (Ali more than Ben before finding the right one - from middle to high school) but I do remember these kids were absolutely brilliant and their peers were quite talented too (but my Ali and Ben were the most gifted - of course, because I had that family - feeling with them and so in my eyes they shine the brightest!)
Anyway, on Ben the pressure to succeed was slim to none, on Ali it was hardly a struggle either when it came to being smart or athletic or popular - but she was also very sweet and kind and influencable in her younger years so the pressure was greater. All in all these kids had confidence. Quite like I picture with your daughter (whether or not your family is Jewish you may be surrounded by a social situation similar to this or maybe you are not but the same feeling of pressure for your kid to shine may be relevant and alongside it may be a feeling of lack of support from social system, rebelling against one that you feel is suffocating or moreso that you feel would or does shun you)
So why all that description? Well I guess I have a perfect example that may be helpful to the story and tying it together:
Ben and Ali's mom and dad are Lou and Amy. Lou has 3 other kids who are older. (One is HOT - sidenote - lol) anyway, Stacey is the oldest or middle - i forget, then there are two other brothers the youngest is in law school or just graduated - Lou put all of his kids through all of their school and continues to. (My dad and I admire him, of course - but none of this has to do with the point...) Anyway, so Steven and --- err i forget the not so hot brothers name but they both have their law degrees and successful father as a networking device and they are pretty set.
Stacey, on the other hand... got a little lost. From the attitudes of... well just from Ali - I can tell the new family didn't settle in well for a while (as would be expected) and I say this because Ali tends to look up to her mom (Amy, who Ali can expect to be as beautiful and intelligent as when she grows up!) - anyway, I - as an objective person here - felt much sympathy for Stacey, especially, because it seems like she got lost and felt really different from everyone else. She always seemed half there and half somewhere else, like she was going to be with her brothers and dad, not care what everyone else thought and not care that she didn't have some amazing success story to brag about to at least make conversation with everyone. Something about her rebelliousness and tenacity struck me as strength in her. I saw where that strength came from when I saw how well received she was by the loving eyes and arms of her father!
This man has worked his way to success the Donald Trump way, I would imagine, and he has been fortunate enough to provide footstools to all five of his children wherever they needed them and provide new mountains to climb when they got to a new level. It seems that 2 of his sons have climbed quite far and his two children with Amy are on their way in strides towards worlds and worlds of open doors. One would think that Lou would have been dissapointed in Stacey for not being able to fit in and not challenging herself like everyone else did and not...
and not what?
this is where we have to stop and think; wow - but what is really important here? His love for her has always been there - despite her success, her failure, her ability to blend and her unique way of standing out. There were never any traces of notice of any of this when I saw the way he looked at her with unconditional love all the time.
So... now back to your dream:
I know that story may seem so irrelevent |
No, I found it interesting. I was having a hard time making the connection, but you're just smarter and I chalked it up to me not grasping the point. I did like the part about Lou's unconditional love for Stacey regardless of the events. And I found this interesting:
despite her success, her failure, her ability to blend and her unique way of standing out. My daughter has her share of successes and failures (so scholarship money won't be rolling into her lap) but she does have the innate skill to blend into a given situation and she finds a way to get noticed (when that's what she wants). Described her well, even if that was not your intent (because I kinda lost the intent thread at this point).
| TG429 wrote: |
| and you may even be thinking it is based on a presumption that you're a part of some social and/or religious and/or family-type setting that you may not be a part of by any means in any of the above ways... |
Makes sense.
| TG429 wrote: |
| awell if that is the case, this story may even work better for you as you would be objective to all of it like I was and maybe the one thing you noted most was: drive to succeed and the support and push of parents as a resource and a good example. |
I guess. My head is getting that overload syndrome when the data is coming in faster than I can process...
| TG429 wrote: |
Another thing that struck me here and may have struck you - is the genuine absence of dissapointment in Lou's eyes when he sees her come to the great party at his house. Here his two successful sons arrive looking clean (and hot) in suits with their hair done and expensive cars and maybe an expensive looking girlfriend - or maybe not but they network with socialites and socialize about networking and talk to family and friends about the wonderful things they are doing or gain insight on this or that etc etc. Stacey shows up hesitantly but with confidence, not quite as neatly put together but by no means a mess - just with her own unique style which is much different, she wears her uniqueness like a scarlet letter almost and doesn't socialize quite as readily or eagerly as others might. She does, however, have amazing things going on in her life as she has been really into this yoga belly dancing class and these hand bags she has been knitting - as I talk to her later on about while she waits near me to say bye to her dad in a half hour when it is reasonable to leave. Stacey's appearance is not quite as stunning as the people around as she is quite heavy in weight and her expressive nature makes her seem in a distant world, even. She is not on drugs, though, so I am not being naive here - she is just her very own creative person and her incongruity may even be a result of former hostilities and implicit in the situation that she is at the house of her dads "new" family - in her eyes. Bitterness and tension aside, none of this makes her feel any less lovable in her father's eyes.
This is amazing to me. Not to say my dad loves me conditionally, but maybe I've grown up with so much positive reinforcement for success that whenever I have failed I feel ashamed to confront my parents and expect a cold feeling - especially from my dad. |
That makes me sad. I don't know the circumstances, of course, but I don't think that success (or lack thereof) should matter when it comes to love. I know you weren't loved conditionally, but I hope my daughter (and son for that matter) know that their success or lack of it will alter how I love them.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Maybe it is because - although he has been able to afford to provide a significant amount for me - what is tangible is how hard he has worked for it. He was born in Italy without much money and when his father worked the land and then in England worked industry he saved to bring his family to America and my dad worked paper routes and pizza joints when he was in his teens to bring money back to the family too. He has always worked hard. He worked hard in HVAC and as a result was given his company by his former boss who wanted to "die at the desk" so to speak and valued hard work so much she never retired. She ran the company after her husband died and valued my dads hard work so much that she gave him this in her will. My dad worked hard and succeeded and expects to see me do better than him as he did better than his dad and his dad did better than his dad etc etc.... |
No experience with that, to be honest. Go back more than 2 generations and all of my ancestors are in Greece, England or Wales. As for recent history, all the family has been in the lower class. Common notions of success have never applied. I was the first (and only) American family member to attend college.
| TG429 wrote: |
So, now I really get back to the point...
do you feel overwhelmed by social pressures or outcasted by social or other institutions surrounding you? Moreover do you feel shame or regret for something you have or have not done or can or cannot do in regard to your child? |
Somewhere along the line this stopped being just dream analysis, I think. Tell me you are in the health care business (like therapy) because your sensitivity and perception are impressive. Yes, most definitely to #1. Having been a (potentially) undiagnosed Asperger's (or something) Syndrome kid (my ex-therapist said it was too late in life to get that assessment, and it didn't matter at this late age, although she thought it was a something and not Asperger's) made for a less than joyful life. On #2, it's about being able to provide. Providing daily basics is hard. College??? I am not optimistic...
| TG429 wrote: |
Sometimes we feel we have made mistakes that were truly beyond our control. All of this is understandable but its our own attitudes toward ourselves that can impair how we receive or perceive others and moreso their views of us.
Do you worry that you are not the hero you wish to be for your daughter?
I tell you that you are all that and more, and if you love her unconditionally, (which you do - of course) then you are a true hero if you can also show her love unconditionally despite how you may feel you have measured up.
My story about the father above is only a good example because he clearly has felt great pride in his own success in life and thus has had no personal hang ups over what he may have "done wrong" |
Well, I know he has worked hard for it, but he is very fortunate.
| TG429 wrote: |
In his story he has kids who shoot for the stars sun moon and more and he has one who shoots for her own little galaxy. He shows them all unconditional love and for those who are striving to do well he also shows that encouragement and drive and acknowledges when they do well and loves to hear how well they do etc etc - just the positive reinforcement I know very well. My sisters are not like me though - they are both gifted one an artist one an athlete but they have never felt this strange feeling of lack of lovableness in the face of failure - it is different from person to person - I just sense this strongly enough that I felt I should really tell you here.
As for the end of your dream you do make it home - a good sign and good place to end. Funny though, your comfortable way of making it there is via exchange - favor for a (usually paid) service. It is like a transaction. Feelings don't seem to mesh well in the world of drive and ambitions for you and asking for help out of love is not something you can do easily without feeling you are humbling yourself to the point of embarrassment and defeat. |
Because I've tried and it has not been pretty. The R/W has always exacted a price. Maybe I don't ask well...
| TG429 wrote: |
| This may be exaggerating as it is a dream but it may be that you don't feel you have support where you need it and even if you do or could your own personal hang ups with something or some system are making it impossible for you to look at this avenue as a viable option. |
I would say it is accurate and not an exaggeration.
| TG429 wrote: |
What is this dream urging from you?
It is urging you to embrace compassion and feeling. |
I thought I was. I value compassion as one of the noblest of emotions and actions.
| TG429 wrote: |
| Feel for your daughter and feel for yourself. It may be easier to first ponder your daughters world emotionally and mentally and without any bitterness you have about any factors or influences that may wedge themselves into your thought process from external happenings. Especially when it is resent over something that happened to you or you both or your family or your finances or anything that you feel has wrongfully closed doors on her already. The truth is that she is very young and there are no doors closed on her and she knows that. |
Okay, that makes sense. I know she is concerned that her brother will take all the finances for going to college (he is a senior) at which I quip
what finances?. I suspect that doesn't go over well, and it was not one of my better moments, although it is accurae.
| TG429 wrote: |
| She is counting on you to open up emotionally even if it doesnt seem to be so. Maybe she is not emotional maybe she is. The blatant thing here would be that you need to open your emotional side to her but this may be saying it too directly. Maybe you need to open your mind to her points of view and force your own resentments of this or that out of the way when she says "these are my hopes dreams and plans" |
As far as I know, financial comment notwithstanding, I am a strong supporter of her future plans and goals and have always supported whatever long term plans she has (unlike, say, her Mom who is less consistent by comparison).
| TG429 wrote: |
| I dont say that you resent her - no way not at all - I mean if she said she likes softball and you think she should do volleyball because shed get a scholarship and she may not with softball and this same thing maybe happened to you where they picked someone else and you regret not trying to compete somewhere where the competition was less and you would surely have been the best - maybe you are still a bit angry and dont want to see your daughter sidelined by someone or something with more power so you urge her into the safest way to the top... |
In this case, I have always supported whatever choice she wants. Happiness in her career choice is what matters to me the most.
| TG429 wrote: |
| She needs you to see her point of view. |
Of course, there are points of view different from just college and career, and, admittedly, I don't always see her point of view.
| TG429 wrote: |
Whatever the dream you had last night is also telling you to confront an emotional world of some kind. It is what the dream of a year ago meant too but with more detail..
The angel dream instills a sense of guilt that is very tangible to me too as I read it.
Maybe you invest and ask too much of your daughter. The angel of the sky with wings and powers beyond even your own - so ideal that you can't even see her on the ground or communicate with her as humans do...
She needs you to communicate with her in an emotional way, though and recognize her feelings and wants and needs to follow her own creative spirit. Or maybe you support all that just fine, but there is something else that is not communicated on a rational level (hence why you and the angel did not converse) - and this is what you need to get in touch with. |
My daughter and I had an argument last night. It never occurred to me it was about her. She would say that I didn't make an effort to understand her point of view. (The reverse is also true, but parents don't seem to rae that perspective).
| TG429 wrote: |
This is where your unresolved guilt lies and it is the one thing that will open up doors not just for the ones you love and worry about but for you too! Yes you! This is all actually about you, you know!
Ok - I hope this helped - I really may have overdone myself in some areas but it helps me to analyze symbols in a context so if certain facts are way off I hope the ideas helped |
I think it was a pretty great assessment, which is even more impressive because people who have known me for a long time probably wouldn't be able to touch base on the stuff you did. Overdone? OMG, I am still amazed at the time and energy you put into this. Admittedly I was impressed by some of your earlier posts and this just validates 10 times over.
| TG429 wrote: |
| other examples could be regret because of your relationship to her mother lacking perfection but i cant go here for fear that maybe this was not it at all and if it was it may have had nothing at all to do with you or love or anything - also could reflect a family of two religious worlds and a home for your own mind being peaceful without religion being important to societal things as work and networking (represented by home in salem where a-theism is a symbol just means a city/community of socials with no church or temple to unite and this means rational to you as church and state are divided and good will is a human thing as your friend does you a favor and you do her a favor and she basically rescues you in the end in a small way because youve basically rescued yourself in every way except one small way that you absollutely need help from outside.) |
Some good points in there. Family of 2 religious worlds is accurate.
| TG429 wrote: |
ok i must go to the gym now i hope this helped - i do feel very shy about posting this because it seems so personal so i hope beyond all hope i havent offended you at all and also i hope it helped...
whatever the case feedback is more than welcome - it is needed! |
Enjoy the gym. Do not feel shy about it, I did ask, after all. No, I am not offended. I am flattered, at the time you would apply to this; amazed, at the accuracy of so much of this; and grateful for the usable and applicable advice. I hope my comments interspersed here constitute acceptable feedback. If not, let me know, and I'll try and do better.
Thanks again!
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