Jokes for the day., Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:41 am

Jokes

Bad Coffee

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.

"How old is the coffee you have here?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks."

Marriage Quotes

-- At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

-- A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Husband Wanted". Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

-- When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

-- A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

-- Young son: "Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son."

-- Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

-- Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a big gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.

Some Ways to Spend the $250 Million Powerball Jackpot

-- A twinkie for everyone in the country.

-- Develop and market an action-figure doll of yourself.

-- Get yourself one a' them "Pentagon quality" toilet bowls.

-- Pay for a top-notch therapist to deal with the feeling that, compared to Bill Gates, you're still not rich.

-- At long last: a home-slurpee machine of your VERY OWN!

-- Four words: Prank call to Antarctica.

-- Goodbye aluminum siding: Hello golden siding.

-- Get it all in pennies and ride the horse in front of K-mart, FOREVER!

Doctor?

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.

"Be still, my heart," thought my friend, "my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!" Then the child spoke into the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take you order?"