Jokes for the day., Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Fri Jan 15, 2010 11:17 am

Jokes

Model Stools

I was in Target the other day, shopping with a young lady friend. We were walking past the furniture section where there were several different models of bar stools on dis- play. Next to them there was a sign that read: "All models in stock now!"

So I paused next to the display and said, "Do you know what these are?"

"What?" she asked.

I said, "Stool samples."

The Perfect Woman?

Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next.

Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone who suits you?"

"No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I keep on looking!"

"Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just like your dear ole Mother?"

Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again.

"So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet. One that's just like your Mother?"

Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom. My mother loved her, they became great friends."

"Excellent!!! So,.... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?"

"I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"

Humor Just for Women

What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it.

What's the smartest thing a man can say?
"My wife says..."

What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
Straight through the rib cage.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they're all pigs.

How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.

What makes a man think about a candlelight dinner?
A power failure.

Water Beds

Since I had been selling water beds for almost four years, I thought I had heard every question imaginable. But then a customer asked me, "Can you deliver it filled with water?"

Stunned, I replied, "Are you kidding? It would weigh over twelve hundred pounds!"

After a short pause, she said, "Could you do it if I helped you carry it in?"