Jokes for the day., Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 3:39 pm

Jokes

New Book Titles

Here's a listing of some recently-published "new books" & their author....

- "How to Write Large Books" by Warren Peace

- "The Lion Attacked" by Claude Yarmoff

- "The Art of Archery" by Beau N. Arrow

- "Irish Heart Surgery" by Angie O'Plasty

- "Desert Crossing" by I. Rhoda Camel

- "School Truancy" by Marcus Absent

- "I Was a Cloakroom Attendant" by Mahatma Coate

- "I Lost My Balance" by Eileen Dover and Phil Down

- "Mystery in the Barnyard" by Hu Flung Dung

- "Positive Reinforcement" by Wade Ago

- "Shhh!" by Danielle Soloud

- "The Philippine Post Office" by Imelda Letter

- "Things to Do at a Party" by Bob Frapples

- "Stop Arguing" by Xavier Breath

- "Raising Mosquitos" by I. Itch

- "Mountain Climbing" by Hugo First

Three-Legged Chicken

A man was driving along a rural road when he realized he had to make a phone call. He was miles from a pay phone so he decided to stop in at the next farmhouse he found. As he was approaching a house he noticed a three-legged chicken racing along the road. He followed the chicken and clocked it at 45 miles per hour.

When the man got to the farmhouse he asked the farmer about the chicken. The farmer replied, "W'all, when I was at the uneeversitee, I studied geenetics. 'Round these parts we love chicken and we're all partial to the drumstick, so I thought I'd see if I could make a three-legged chicken. So, here 'tis."

The man was quite impressed. He asked, "How does it taste?"

The farmer replied, "Don't know. Ain't none of us been able to catch one yet."

If College Students Wrote the Bible

* The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning - cold.

* The Ten Commandments would actually be only five; double spaced and written in large font.

* A new edition would be published every two years in order to limit reselling.

* Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

* Paul's letter to the Romans would become Paul's E-mail to abuse@romans.gov.

* Reason Cain killed Abel; they were roommates.

* Reason why Moses and followers walked the desert for 40 years; they didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

* Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, he would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

Paying the Bill

After doctors set my broken arm and put a cast on it, I paid the bill and went on my way. Shortly thereafter, I received a bill from the hospital, this time for the $1.57 they claimed I still owed.

Apparently to prove that this was a hospital with heart, they included a payment book. It had me paying 3 cents a month for four years.