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Posts: 2357 · Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:28 am

Jokes

The Carburetor

"The car won't start," said a wife to her husband. "I think there's water in the carburetor."

"How do you know?" said the husband scornfully. "You don't even know what the carburetor is."

"I'm telling you," repeated the wife, "I'm sure there's water in the carburetor."

"We'll see," mocked the husband. "Let me check it out. Where's the car?"

"In the swimming pool."

Newspaper Headline Chuckles

- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

- New Study Of Obesity Looks For Larger Test Group

- Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft

- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

- Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Needy

- Arson Suspect Is Held In Massachusetts Fire

- British Union Finds Dwarves In Short Supply

- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

- Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half

- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

You've Been in College Too Long When...

- You consider McDonald's "real food."

- You actually like doing laundry at home.

- 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends.

- It starts getting late on the weeknights.

- Two miles is not too far to walk for a party.

- You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing of it.

- You'd rather clean than study.

- Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems normal.

- Computer Solitaire is more than a game, it's a way of life.

- You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps.

Signs That You're Broke

- At communion you go back for seconds.

- You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.

- You're formulating a plan to rob the food bank.

- Long distance companies don't call you to switch.

- You give blood everyday.. just for the orange juice.

- McDonald's is the supplier of all your kitchen condiments.

- American Express calls and says: "Leave home without it!"

- Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.

- You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.

Posts: 34 · Posted: Fri Jul 10, 2009 6:48 pm

ha ha in the swimming pool thats funny thanks for the laugh