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prasanna
Age: 47 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 2357 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 10:01 am |
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Jokes
Moral Assignment
A grade school teacher gave the assignment to her class, that each student should think of a story and then a moral for that story to share with the class the next day. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, and little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Suzy replies, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Next little Lucy offers to tell her story, and she says, "Well my dad owns a farm too and every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12 eggs hatched." The teacher asks for the moral of the story and Lucy replies, "Don't count your eggs before they're hatched."
Finally it's little Johnny's turn and he says, "My uncle Ted fought in the Vietnam war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory. He jumped out before it crashed with only a machine gun, a machete, and a case of beer. On the way down he drank the case of beer."
"Unfortunately, he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more. The blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looks in shock at Johnny and asks if there is possibly any moral to his story and Johnny replies, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."
Beauty Cream
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
"Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked.
"To make myself beautiful," she replied as she began to remove the cream with a tissue.
"What's the matter," asked little Johnny. "Giving up?"
The Pig
A man was driving down the road in the country. He looked over and saw a baby pig in the field. He stopped and picked up the pig.
He was driving around town with the pig in the car and a cop sees him and pulls him over. Cop says "Hey, What are you doing with that pig in the car?"
Driver says "Well, I just found the pig beside the road in the field."
Cop says" I want you to take that pig to the zoo!" the driver agrees he will take the pig to the zoo.
So the next day the cop sees the guy driving around again and pulls him over. "What are you doing? I thought I told you to take that pig to the zoo!"
"Well I did take the pig to the zoo. We had such a good time we are going to the ball game now."
Mother & Baby Camel
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?"
The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
"OK," said the son.
A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert."
"Thanks Mom," replies the son.
After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."
"That`s great Mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom..."
"Yes, son?"
"Why the heck are we in the San Diego zoo?"
Spelling Mouse
Teacher: Melody, spell mouse.
Melody: M-O-U-S.
Teacher: But what's at the end of it?
Melody: A tail.
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