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prasanna
Age: 47 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 2357 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 6:46 am |
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Jokes
The Feminist
A radical feminist is getting on a bus when, just in front of her, a man gets up from his seat. She thinks to herself, "Here's another man trying to keep up the customs of a patriarchal society by offering a poor, defenseless woman his seat," and she pushes him back onto the seat.
A few minutes later, the man tries to get up again. She is insulted again and refuses to let him up. Finally, the man says, "Look, lady, you've got to let me get up. I'm two miles past my stop already."
Factory Owner
The owner of a large factory decided to make a surprise visit and check up on his staff. Walking though the plant, he noticed a young man leaning lazily against a post.
"Just how much are you being paid a week?" said the owner angrily.
"Three hundred bucks," replied the young man.
Taking out a fold of bills from his wallet, the owner counted out $300, slapped the money into the boy's hands, and said "Here's a week's pay -- now get out and don't come back!"
Turning to one of the supervisors, he said "How long has that lazy bum been working here anyway?"
"He doesn't work here," said the supervisor. "He was just here to deliver a pizza!"
Young Bride
The family was disturbed. Grandpa Ezra, aged seventy-five, decided to get married. What worried the relatives was the fact that the bride Ezra selected was a young, healthy twenty-two year old.
One of Ezra's sons cornered him and pleaded: "Look Paw, you must give this more thought. It's very serious. In fact, a thing like this could prove fatal!"
"So what?" answered Ezra, unperturbed. "If she dies, I'll marry again."
Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming
1. Thou shalt not worry about bugs. Bugs in your software are actually special features.
2. Thou shalt not fix abort conditions. Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort again.
3. Thou shalt not handle errors. Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or your users are error prone.
4. Thou shalt not restrict users. Don't do any editing, let the user input anything, anywhere, anytime. That is being very user friendly.
5. Thou shalt not optimize. Your users are very thankful to get the information, they don't worry about speed and efficiency.
6.Thou shalt not provide help. If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.
7. Thou shalt not document. Documentation only comes in handy for making future modifications. You made the software perfect the first time, it will never need modifications.
8. Thou shalt not hurry. Only the cute and the mighty should get the program by deadline.
9. Thou shalt not revise. Your interpretation of specs was right, you know the users' requirements better than them.
10. Thou shalt not share. If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves.
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