Jokes for the day, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Tue May 26, 2009 1:56 am

Jokes

Five Funny Messages to Send via Twitter

- The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

- I only use deodorant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled like.

- Crime doesn’t pay… Does that mean my job is a crime?

- This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! … Now read without the word dog.

- Do you ever notice that when you’re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?

Five More Funny Messages to Send via Twitter

- I’ve used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.

- Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.

- What’s the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant.

- I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.

- When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.

Yet Another Five Funny Messages to Send via Twitter

- Please turn your mobile phone upside down now! Hurry pV3H3uoq 0773H

- Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

- Never forget that you’re unique, just like everyone else.

- I heard you took an IQ test and they said you’re results were negative.

- What do u call dog with no legs? Don’t matter wot u call him, he ain’t gonna come.

Even Five More Funny Messages to Send via Twitter

- I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.

- Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

- If practice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?

- Born Free… Taxed to Death.

- We will now upgrade your brain, please wait… searching… searching… still searching… sorry NO BRAIN found.