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prasanna
Age: 46 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 2329 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Thu May 21, 2009 11:31 pm |
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Jokes
Not One for You
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill."
So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the bill. The drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender slaps the guy around a few times then throws him out into the street.
The very next day, the same drunk walks into the bar and once again says, "Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill." The bartender figures that he can't possibly be stupid enough to pull the same trick twice, so he gives him the benefit of the doubt. He pours a round of drinks for the house, has a drink himself, and hands the drunk the bill.
Again, the drunk says, "I haven't got it." The bartender can't believe it. He picks the guy up, beats the living daylights out of him, then throws him out into the street.
The next day, the same drunk walks back into the same bar and says, "Bartender, buy every one in the house a drink and give me the bill."
In disgust, the bartender says, "What, no drink for me this time?" The drunk replies, "Nope! You get too violent when you drink."
Mean Firemen
A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde escape a burning building by climbing to the roof. Firemen are on the street below, holding a blanket for them to jump in. The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the blanket away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"Come on! Jump! You gotta jump." say the firemen to the Redhead. "Oh no! You are going to pull the blanket away!" says the Redhead.
"No! It's brunettes that we can't stand. We're Okay with Redheads." repied the firemen.
"Okay." said the redhead, and she jumped. SWISH! The firemen yanked the blanket away, and the lady was flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Finally, the blonde stepped to the edge of the roof. Again, the firemen yelled, "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away." yelled the blonde. "No! Really! You have to jump. We won't pull the blanket away," answered the firemen.
"Look," the blonde said. "Nothing you say is gonna convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket away. So what I want you to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it."
Long Wait
The ninety-five year old woman at the nursing home received a visit from one of her fellow church members. "How are you feeling?" the visitor asked.
"Oh," said the lady, "I'm just worried sick!"
"What are you worried about, dear?" her friend asked. "You look like you're in good health. They are taking care of you, aren't they?"
"Yes, they are taking very good care of me."
"Are you in any pain?" she asked.
"No, I have never had a pain in my life."
"Well, what are you worried about?" her friend asked again.
The lady leaned back in her rocking chair and slowly explained her major worry. "Every close friend I ever had has already died and gone on to heaven. I'm afraid they're all wondering where I went."
Not a Cow
A visitor to a bed-and-breakfast inn in the country awoke early one morning to find the farmer and his family still asleep. Slightly irritated at not having his breakfast even begun yet, he took a glass and went out to the barn to try his hand at milking the cow himself.
Later on his way back into the house, he met the farmer and his wife who had just come downstairs to begin the day's work. "What cha doin' out in my barn, fella?" the farmer demanded.
The visitor replied, "Well, I woke up at 8 o'clock and you were still asleep, and breakfast wasn't ready, so I thought I would go out and milk the cow myself. It took longer than I thought it would, but after a few minutes she finally filled the glass all at one time." He then took a long drink from his glass and asked, "Say, what kind of cow is that, anyway?"
"We don't have a cow, son." the farmer replied. "We have a bull."
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