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prasanna
Age: 47 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 2357 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Wed May 20, 2009 8:12 pm |
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Jokes
Honest Lawyer
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel.
She began to interview young lawyers. "As I'm sure you can understand," she started off with one of the first applicants, "in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question." She leaned forward. "Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?"
"Honest?" replied the job prospect. "Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I'm so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case."
"Impressive. And what sort of case was that?"
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, "He sued me for the money."
Defective Nails
Two blonde men were working on a house. The one who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over his shoulder or nail it in.
The other blonde guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?"
The first explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed TOWARD me, I throw it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in!"
The second blonde guy got completely upset and yelled, "You MORON! The nails that are pointed toward you aren't defective! They're for the OTHER side of the house!"
Tom and Mary
Tom drops in on the golf course wanting to play an impromptu round of golf. The golf pro explains that they're pretty busy, but there is a woman about to tee off by herself, and if Tom hurries, he can play with her.
Tom rushes down, and asks the woman if he can join her. Mary introduces herself, and says "Yes." Well Tom and Mary immediately hit it off. They were golfing, talking, laughing, having the time of their lives.
When they got to the 17th tee, Mary invited Tom into the woods to pitch some woo. Of course, Tom agreed.
When the game was over, Tom asked Mary if she would like to play again the following week. The two of them started having a regular weekly game, with Mary's special bonus for Tom just off the 17th tee.
One day, after a few months of this, Mary told Tom, "I have something very important to tell you."
"What is it?" Tom asked nervously, "Has someone found out about us?"
"Actually," Mary said, "My real name is Bill. I'm not really a woman, I'm a man."
Tom was stunned and angered, "Do you mean to tell me that all this time you've been a man yet you've been hitting from the women's tee?"
Czech Lawyer
A lawyer and his Czech friend were camping in a backwoods section of Montana. One morning, the two went out to pick berries for their breakfast. They went gathering berries in tremendous quantities, along came two huge bears, a male and a female. The lawyer, seeing the two bears, immediately dashed for cover. His friend, though, wasn't so lucky, and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer ran back to his Mercedes, tore into town as fast as he could, and got the local sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his shotgun and dashed back to the berry patch with the lawyer. Sure enough, the two bears were still there.
"He's in THAT one!" cried the lawyer, pointing to the male, while visions of lawsuits from his friend's family danced in his head. He just had to save his friend. The sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his gun, took careful aim, and shot the female. "What did you do that for!" exclaimed the lawyer, "I said he was in the other!"
"Exactly," replied the sheriff. "Would YOU believe a lawyer who told you the Czech was in the male?"
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