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prasanna
Age: 47 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 2357 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Sun May 03, 2009 6:04 pm |
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Jokes
Hearing Loss
A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, "Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."
"Well," the doctor replied, "go home and tonight stand about fifteen feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply, move about five feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness."
Sure enough, the husband goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about fifteen feet from his wife in the kitchen, as she is chopping some vegetables and says, "Honey, what's for dinner?" He hears no response.
He moves about five feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves five feet closer. Still no reply.
He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, "Honey, what's for dinner?" She replies, "For the fourth time, vegetable stew!"
Careful What You Wish For
A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. "This will look good on my mantel," he said, and took it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.
"I would like an ice-cold Coke right now." He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible."
Suddenly, he's on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. "I wish I'd never have to work again." Instantly, he was back in his government office.
Two Wishes Left
A man who spent a long, relaxing day with a few friendly bottles was meandering homeward, when he saw a man lying half-submerged in a ditch. With the courage of several bottles, and no hesitation, our hero jumped in, dragged the man out and shook him thoroughly.
When the man came to, he said, "Thank you for rescuing me. I'm not a normal man. I'm really a Genie. The last person who released me, hit me after making but one wish; you can have the two remaining wishes."
Our man had no difficulty in accepting his good fortune, and thought long and hard for about two seconds. "I'll have a bottle of whiskey that never runs empty." The Genie waved a hand and a full bottle appeared.
The man took a big gulp or ten, squinted carefully at the bottle and saw that it was still as full as it was when it first appeared.
"Wonderful!" he said, "Give me another one of those."
Hack Golfer
A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy.
Being a hack golfer, he played poorly all day long. Round about the 18th hole, he spotted a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looked at the caddy and said, "I have played so poorly all day, I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
The caddy looked back at the hack golfer and replied, "I don't think you could keep your head down that long."
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