Jokes for the day, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Mon Apr 27, 2009 6:02 pm

Jokes

Religious Horse

There was a preacher that was trying to sell his horse. A potential buyer came to the church for a test ride. "Before you start," the preacher said, "you should know that this horse only responds to church talk. Go is: Praise the Lord, and Stop is: Amen."

So the man on the horse says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to trot. The man again says, "Praise the Lord," and the horse starts to gallop. Suddenly there is a cliff right in front of the horse and the man yells, "Amen!"

The horse stops just at the edge of the cliff.

The man wipes the sweat from his brow and says, "Praise the Lord!"

Alligators

A blonde camper at Long Pine Key in Everglades National Park decided to take a dip in the lake with her dog, despite signs saying: "No Swimming - Alligators."

She swam to an island about 75 yards from the shore, then saw some alligators and refused to swim back.

"Didn't you see the signs?" asked the ranger who retrieved her in a canoe.

"Sure," the blonde said. "But, I didn't think it applied to me."

Ancient Chinese Proverb

An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down.

The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces.

The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but monkey hindquarters.

Canaries

A lady went to a pet shop. "I would like to buy two yellow canaries," she told the owner.

"We don't have any canaries, but we have these," the owner said, as he showed the lady some pale green parakeets.

"That's not what I'm looking for," the lady stated.

But the pet storeowner refused to give up. He said, "Just think of them as yellow canaries that aren't quite ripe yet."