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prasanna
Age: 49 Zodiac: 
| Joined: 20 Feb 2008 |
| Posts: 4397 |
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Location: DUBAI, Los Angeles, Chennai
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 Posted: Sun Apr 26, 2009 6:00 pm |
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Jokes
Burglar Notes
The following are a few simple ways to keep burglars out of the house by putting a few signs in well-placed locations:
"Dear Mr. Butcher, starting tomorrow, please leave eight pounds of meat for Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!"
"Dear Mr. Mailman, we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please besure to keep all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. Any sign of that book we sent for, 'The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats'?"
"Selma, don't come in! The boa constrictor got loose again."
"Dear Mr. Exterminator, be very careful when you go inside! The termites have eaten through most of the floorboards and you will fall into the basement where all of the rats are!"
"To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been wired to explode when touched. Good luck.
Different Types
A Canadian, a Russian and an American all wanted to show off to each other so they each bought a new toilet. The Russian bought a wooden toilet, the Canadian bought a marble toilet, and the American bought a musical toilet.
The next day, the Canadian came back to complain and said, "I want a refund. Every time I use the toilet, I slip off of it."
The day after that, the Russian came to complain and said, "I want a refund. Every time I sit on the toilet I get splinters in my bottom."
The next day, the American came and said, "I want a refund. Every time I sit down, I hear my national anthem and I have to stand up."
Last Wishes
Three citizens of the former Soviet Eastern Bloc - a Pole, a Czech, and a Jew - were accused of spying and were sentenced to death. Each man was granted one last wish.
"I want my ashes scattered over the grave of Pilsudski," said the Pole.
"I want my ashes scattered over the grave of Masaryk," said the Czech.
"And I," said the Jew, "want my ashes scattered over the grave of Comrade Kosygin."
"But that's impossible," he was told. "Kosygin isn't dead yet."
"Fine," said the Jew. "I can wait."
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