Jokes for the day, Mysticism, reading, forums, Numerology, Sun Signs, Divination

Posts: 4397 · Posted: Wed Apr 22, 2009 4:21 pm

Jokes

Round of Golf

Two men were playing a round of golf one day. Just as they were about to start one of the holes, a funeral procession went by on the road beside the course. One of the golfers, Clyde, takes off his cap and stands with his cap to his chest, and waits for the entire procession to go by. He then puts his cap back on and proceeds to tee off.

"Gee Clyde, that was a very nice gesture on your part. It was very thoughtful and respectful of you to do that," his friend said.

"Well," Clyde replied, "I was married to her for 30 years, it was the least that I could do."

Men are like fine wine.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it is our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.

Four-Letter Words

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well, how was the honeymoon?" asked the mother.

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Stan started using the most horrible language. He's been saying things I've never heard before! All these awful four-letter words. You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama!"

"Frannie, Frannie," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What four-letter words has he been using?"

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed. They're just too awful! You've got to come get me and take me home. Please mama."

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible four-letter words." Still sobbing, the bride replied, "Oh, Mama, words like dust, wash, iron, and cook . . . "

Adam's Rib

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Austin seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of Adam's rib. Later in the week, Wendy, his mother, noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Austin, what's the matter?"

Little Austin responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."