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Pravin Kumar
Age: 64 Zodiac: 
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 Posted: Thu Apr 10, 2008 8:30 am |
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Indian Hell:
An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.
Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
But that is exactly the same as all the other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in? "Because maintenance is so bad >that>>the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the cafeteria..."
Least Romantic:
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not
I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes - Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"
Little Manu Jokes
Teacher: Why are you late?
Manu: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Manu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
Teacher: Johny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
Manu: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Manu: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
Teacher: Johny, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Manu: Me!
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Manu: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day same time."
Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Manu: Brotherly love.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Manu: A teacher
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