Great! I will think of something and start a new thread on it, but I am hoping others will help in "Acaveyogi's Question Quest", too, so get thinking...  

Happiness is a question! Mostly I play with the "Intuitive Mind", The mother load of all answers All one needs is a question.

It should be said that it does not answer everything for me. And sometimes it takes thirty years to understand the answer

The "Intuitive Mind" is actually the only real gift that I have and "it" is at your service should you have something that you would like to explore. It don't (uneducated english) work for "lottery numbers" or "gambling." I have already tried !

The Intuitive Mind is my only gift, the rest of the things I know are/was the result of alot of time, patience, and persistance.

Love you!

john

Hallo, John!

I keep posting in this thread because I am afraid you will miss it if I start a new thread somewhere else. So, moderators, feel free to move us to whatever forum is most appropriate for this topic.

John, I wonder whether you know anything about depression: whether we cause it ourselves unknowingly by our thoughts, whether there are physical factors involved (I lately read that lack of certain neurotransmissors might be involved in some cases), if there is any trick you know of in order to alleviate it...

I have spent the last 9 years or so trying to chase down the cause and tried all sort of natural treatments, but it is only getting worse and worse, or so it seems to me. I have always been a positive person, but I am beginning to lose faith in my ability to recover and I feel like I am very slowly but surely sinking.

I do not intend to get you in trouble by asking you for any medical opinions: I know it needs psyc treatment and I am getting it, but it is so slow I still do not feel any difference (still on the tests stage, it seems to last forever). I only thought you might know some little trick to alleviate the symptoms when it gets hard to take.

Thank you, friend  

Pirbid, I love your question! I have spent most of my life being in a "bi polar" reality and have spent most of my life being depressed. Medical science would consider it a chemical imbalance or neurological or genitic (which can cause these things). Either way the goal of medical science is medication.

Pirbid, I am really inpressed with how you worded your post you really covered all the bases (that is a baseball term) very well done!

Pirbid based on my experience with these things from here on out we (you and I) are "dinking" (exploring reality relative to possible change) with your mind. And just for the record mine also. Which means that as we (you and I) explore your question, both of us are going to walk off different. Which I do not mind, because it will be a positive change in my life.

So lets start here, "All change when it comes to the human mind needs to be gentle." Both yours and mine. Ok?

I can not tell you how to solve anything (the only quick fix is medication). All we can do is kick things around until solve just happens. Ok?

The feeling that I get is that your delima is not medical or genetic. You run way too much cognizance and real awareness of things. And based on being in your mind for a while, I do not think that you are as screwed up as you think that you might be Pirbid you are actually quite sane relative to some of us Ok?

So Pirbid sweetheart lets cheat and ask the intuitive mind where to start Humm?

"Pirbid" is there any place where you feel that your life made its first major change?"

Love you!

john

I like the way you tackle this subject: I am all for the "gentle" approach whenever possible. Never contemplated using meds or other drugs, so it will have to be just our minds.

I seem to remember violent mood swings from very early on in life. They were usually accompanied with hiding out of sight, rather like cats do. When a toddler, if my parents had visitors, I would hide inside a kitchen cupboard (yes, I was very small), wardrobe, or squeeze beneath a bed with a bag of candy. I would suck on it for hours till I fell asleep. By the time I woke up, my parents were usually in a frenzy, everyone had spent a few hours searching and calling and were convinced I had jumped out a window or some such. As I got older (and no longer fit in the cupboards), whenever the mood took me, I locked myself in my room, got in bed with a good book and something to chew on and never came out unless I needed to use the toilet.

Now I have a whole house in which to lock myself away from the world, not deigning to answer phones or doorbells for as long as I can get away with, specially if I am tired after many shifts at work (we are a 24h service and work night as well as day shifts). And sometimes I have terrible cravings and tend overeat or do it compulsively. I began to see I was getting "worse-not-better" by the time I started to live on my own, nearly 11 years ago. I discovered anything with sugar on it gave me the instincts of a serial killer, so I try to stay well away from it. If I relax and indulge having dessert in a restaurant, I then pay by spending as much as 2 or 3 days in a foul mood.

I also began trying all sorts of natural therapies, like homeopathy, acupuncture, Bach flowers, massages, etc, apart from trying to keep up my yoga practice. But even though I can stay a bit calmer (i.e. less irritable), I now find that underneath my sociopath behavior there is also a deep sadness and a sort of anxiety, and I just do not know where they are coming from (well, obviously myself, but I am not aware of having any reasons to feel like that, which is what has me worried). I finally gave in and began psychotherapy, but I find it such a slow process that I wonder whether I will live to see any results (no, no suicidal impulses: I never saw that as a way out of anything).

Parallel to my mood swings, I have always had a certain dislike of spending any amount of time surrounded by people, specially strangers. I tend to tense up a lot and end up really exhausted, so I need to crawl away somewhere by myself in order to rest. Reading in this site, I see I have some of the same symptoms that some empaths have, even though I have never seen myself as one. I see they learn how to ground and shield themselves, but I am not familiar with those techniques. In fact, for a practicing yogui, I have always been unable to meditate, visualize or any such, so I must be a tough nut in that sense: my mind is stronger than my will and refuses to stay put.

I do trust my dreams a lot, but lately they just show me in a frenzy of learning and studying (which is not the case in waking life), so I guess I still have a lot to learn and explore. I thought I would better ask you to share with me some of your knowledge, if you can spare the time. I hope I can learn to read the intuitive mind as you do, so I will try to answer any questions as best as I can.

Even though I had some major moves from one country to another since I was 12 till I was 18, I believe the biggest change for me was when I came to live on my own to these islands off the coast of Africa nearly 11 years ago. I craved this freedom and I would not change it for anything. I have always enjoyed spending time by myself. The only trouble I foresee is that I enjoy it so much that I can barely stand not being alone any more, which would make for difficulties in everyday life in the long run. Since you are Acaveyogui, I am sure you understand: I feel like staying in my own cave forever more, since there is nowhere else where I feel so safe and comfy. I realize there must be lots of other things that would need to be explored, but that is essentially what I perceive as a major problem throughout my life and getting worse every passing day, month and year.

Glad you think my dilemma is neither medical nor genetic. Though I must confess my mum has spent her whole life complaining of being depressive but never tried to do anything positive about it. Apart from finding out that, in my case, sugar=poison, my hormonal levels also swing dangerously throughout the monthly cycle, so that I sometimes get the same results even with no sugar in my diet. The fact that PMS also comes with chocolate cravings seems to help none.

Still, I am happy to hear you see me as relatively sane (compared to Hannibal the Cannibal, maybe?). Waiting for your response, if you are still game.

Cheers!