If I pick up anything, it will not be a line, unless of course it's attached to my fishing rod and there's a bite on it. Aquarians do not need pick-up lines, but we tend to attract all the wrong people, so we really need a handful of put-down lines, like: "What's a nice place like this doing around a person like you?" or that brilliant Groucho Marks face-slap: "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." Then again, I'm not very diplomatic and tend to call a spade a spade, so I have no real trouble shaking off people who get on my nerves.
I once walked up to a very gorgeous woman and said to her: "I'm so glad to see you here today: this place really did need brightening up." Did it work? Sorry, that's classidied information. Otherwise, just ask her for some advice on whatever it is you are buying.
Never say "That dress lookes good on you", but rather twist it around and say: "You certainly make that dress look stunning!" Never, never, never use empty flattery on any woman: they can see right through us.
I learned to massage when I was a teen and in exchange for teaching a lesbian to massage, she showed me some "buttons" on the female anatomy, which, when pressed in a particular sequence, turns even an ice queen into a raging nymph. You can do it when you're slow-dancing. Who would know a woman's body better than a woman who loves other women? We had fantastic times together, competing for the sexiest women in the room.
My own most successful ploy was to give a free head and facial massage, then work my way to the "buttons": most women don't know that they have them, so they suspect nothing. If any of my fellow Aquarians want to know how it's done, e-mail me at
fishie@xsinet.co.za and I'll send you the details, free, gratis and for nothing, the only proviso being that you teach your sons, because this talent should never be allowed to die out.
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